In Her Eyes
by HesMyLullaby
Summary: ahh whats this....is it the end!New Draco fic....FYI: this fic is almost R, but I decided on pg-13 because its not ALL bad.....enjoy! R
1. Prologue

A new HP fic for all of you hopeless FanFiction obsessors (:ahem: me :ahem:) This one includes the characters from HP of course, but I added some new ones to make my fic complete. The prologue is below, so please read and review, then go to the first chapter.  
  
But first, a few dedications and acknowledgements to:  
  
Allie- my bff who was killed in a car crash last year. I love you and miss you, baby girl, thanks for being there for me when you were still here.  
  
Sara E- my soul sister forever, thanks for all your love and inspiration!  
  
Holly- for telling me I am beautiful when I feel my ugliest- i love you!  
  
Black Tear- for your wonderful fics! you're an inspiration too! (ps, i'm sara the one who wrote you all those wonderful reviews for "Blinded by Tears"!!)  
  
Okay, so enjoy my new fic, R&R, PLZ!!! luv you guys!!!  
  
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~*Prologue*~  
  
Sometimes the world seems so unreal, making it harder for me to deal. The way my life changes with the blink of an eye, the way I sit all alone in my room to cry. They way with each breath I somehow feel empty, feeling like all of the earth is against me.  
  
The pain that I feel with each passing day, is hidden inside and inside it will stay. The way each glance at my sad reflection can show me each and every imperfection. The way with each passing day I'm always one step behind, each drop of sun becoming harder and harder to find.  
  
Sometimes I can barely believe my eyes, looking out into a world of secrets and lies. The feelings of greif will always remain, here in my heart where I hold all my pain. Is there anyway to make them see, the way with each word; how they're killing me?  
  
As the world turns it'll never turn back, you once were my light but my whole world's gone black. People come and people go, a simple smile no feelings shown. We pick it up and carry on, wondering each night how we'll make it till the dawn.  
  
Each word each moment each tear, every second that passes without you here. Every time I said I'd let you go, but here I am, still so much pain to show. What am I now that you have gone? I'm nothing but I'm still carrying on.  
  
-Me (*©*)  
  
"You cry yourself to sleep Sleep at night but once the night is gone And you prepare to face a brand new day You hide yourself behind that mastermind You're in disguise It's as if you try to put a mask on your pain  
  
You don't know who you are What you're about where are you now You're becoming someone that you don't want to be You're trying so hard to fit in..."  
  
-Stacie Orrico "Genuine"  
  
With every minute you spend in pain, you're losing 60 seconds of happiness.  
  
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Like the prologue? Okay so go on and read the fic!  
  
^*!!*^ 


	2. Felicity

Draco Malfoy ran his fingers through his bright blonde hair, leaning against the wall outside one of the many small shops on Diagon Alley. Beside him stood Pansy Parkinson, who had interlocked her arm with his, yapping on and on to the fellow Slytherins who were standing around them. Draco blocked her out, staring past Crabbe's wide figure at a girl standing outside Ollivander's. Her straight brown hair fell around her shoulders, framing her heart-shaped face like a halo. Draco eyed here, his gaze never catching her bright blue eyes. She was laughing and talking with her friends, their dark grey Hogwarts robes swaying around them. They group of girls leaned in towards each other, whispering something before stepping back again, laughing. The girl looked over, her eye catching his. She gave him a shy smile, before looking away as she tucked her hair behind her ear and walked away, whispering to her friends.  
Pansy suddenly nudged Draco in the side. "Are you listening to me?" He stood up straight, pulling his arm from her grip. "I've got some stuff I've still gotta get," he said, running his hand through his hair again, ignoring Pansy's question. "I'll meet you guys later."  
  
Draco pushed the image of Pansy's disgusted face as he'd walked away from the group out of his mind. His hands were shoved in his pockets, his school cloak tucked between his arm and his side, his sweater sleeves pushed up. Girls flashed flirty smiles at him as he passed, whispering and giggling after he'd walked by. He slipped into a bookshop, the bell on the door ringing as he entered. The storekeeper smiled at him, asking him if he could help him with anything. "I'm fine, thanks." Draco replied, disappearing into one of the rows of bookshelves. He leaned against the wall at the end of the row, sighing. Why was he feeling like this? Pansy was his girlfriend, he'd already made that clear to himself, and yet he still had doubts. He'd never liked her, only accepting her to shut her up. He thought about the girl from the street. His eye had been on Felicity Dawson sice the first day he'd seen her. It had been his first year at Hogwarts, the day of the Sorting Ceremony. He'd seen her as she gracefully glided up the steps towards the stool, smoothing out her skirt and crossing her legs as she sat down, a confident look in her eyes. Whispers had blown through the crowd as the hat was placed on her head, followed by applause as it announced her the newest member of Slytherin house.  
Even now, in the beginning of his fifth year, he still hadn't gotten up the nerve to talk to her. What with Pansy always hanging on him, he'd never had the time. It was right then that he made his decision. Draco walked quietly out of the book shop, squinting his eyes in the late July sun. He walked around for a bit, thinking things through, before finally meeting up with his father and heading to the train station.  
Draco found his friends in one of the many compartments, laughing and talking. They all smiled at him as he opened the door, asking him where he'd been. He just shrugged and looked over at Pansy. "I need to talk to you." Pansy smiled smugly at Helen Lenger, one of her fellow gossip-girl friends before getting up walking over to him, slipping her arm around his. She closed the compartment door as the exited, turning towards him. "What did you wanna talk to me about?" He nodded his head towards one of the empty compartments. They walked in and closed the door, sitting down across from one another. "Look," he began, running his hand through his hair like he always did. "Pansy, don't take this the wrong way but..." Her face shot into a look of disgust. "Are you...dumping me?!?" "Hear me out," Draco continued. "I just don't think things are working out between us, Pansy." He paused, waiting for her to yell or throw something at him. "I think we should...see other people." Pansy swallowed, feeling fire inside her. "Fine." She got up, angrily turning on her heels and walking out of the compartment, slamming the door shut behind her. Draco slumped back in his seat, sighing. Well, he thought. At least that takes care of her.  
  
* * *  
  
Felicity Dawson stared out the window, watching the world buzz by her. Her friends were laughing and talking, their excitement about the new school year growing. Felicity's mind was blank, containing only the visions of those piercing blue eyes that had met hers in Diagon Alley. The way she'd felt her stomach tie into a knot, the way his eyes had flashed. Her thoughts switched back to the conversation that was going on around her, and she looked over at her friends. "Did you see the way he was checking you out, Felicity?!?" Larua Klinton said, smiling. "Come on, Laura," Felicity said, waving her off. "We just happened to look at each other. Big deal." "Way big, Felicity!" Darra Lerron exclaimed. The other three in the compartment nodded. Mary-Elaine Junton, Kiley McClurne, and Lindsay Portland were almost walking Barbie dolls. Just like Laura, Darra and Felicity, they all had long, straight hair, beautiful smiles and deep colored eyes. Felicity examined her manicured fingernails, rubbing at the end of one of them to avoid making eye contact with any of them.  
Even if they were her best friends, she didn't want to tell them she'd been crushing on Draco Malfoy since first year. All she needed was for them to pick on her about it every time he passed by. Felicity rolled her eyes at them and stood up. "I'll be right back, just need to use the bathroom." She slid past them and out of the compartment, pulling the door closed behind her. She sighed and walked down the eisle, sounds of talking and laughing coming from many of the compartments. She found what seemed like an empty compartment, and slid open the door.  
Her breath caught in her throat. Draco Malfoy was sitting there, staring out the window and looking tired. He looked up at her, a look of surprise on his perfect face. "Oh," Felicity said nervously. "I'm s-sorry." She went to slide the door closed, but he put out a hand. "No, it's alright," he gestured to the seat across from him. "You can sit in here." Felicity walked cautiously into the small compartment, carefully closing the door behind her. She sat gracefully down, tossing her brown hair behind her shoulder. Draco stared at her, both confused and surprised. It's fate, he thought. I just left Pansy and here she is.  
Felicity looked around nervously, the awkward silence eating at her. She could feel his bright eyes piercing her, and she looked at him. "I'm Felicity," she said. "Felicity Dawson." "I'm Draco, Draco Mal-" "I know." He felt his cheeks get hot, then it faded. "You're in Slytherin too, that's where I've seen you," Felicity said quickly, trying to make her last comment sound less stalker-like. Draco fumbled in his head, looking for something to say. "You're with that girl Pansy Parkinson, aren't you?" Felicity asked curiously. Draco looked up at her, his eyes moving from the floor to her. He shook his head, trying to keep from smiling. "Not anymore." Felicity tried to sound sypathetic. "That's too bad." He smiled at her, his dark eyes glowing. She smiled back, the knot in her stomach loosening.  
  
Hermione Granger slid into the seat next to Harry Potter, followed by Ron Weasley. The Great Hall was packed with students, their voices buzzing throughout the hall, excitement rising. Hermione nudged Harry, a look of disgust across her face. "Looks like Malfoy's got himself another girl. What a cow," she said, plopping her elbows on the table. "She must be crazy." Harry rolled his eyes. Hermione was always saying something mean about Malfoy and whatever girl he had on his arm each day. The way her eyes got dark as she looked at her made Harry curious. No, he thought. No way would Hermione like Malfoy. But he just watched her as she stared at him, blabbing on and on about how horrible the girl was. He looked over at the girl, who was talking with Malfoy, smiling and flipping her long brown hair. She seemed nice, but Harry didn't jump to conclusions like that about any Slytherin. So far all of them had turned out to be nasty and mean, each and every one having their own special way of making you miserable.  
Hermione just kept staring, her eyes narrowing at the girl. She was so beautiful, even with braces glimmering from her white teeth. Draco seemed so interested in her, soaking up every word she said with a smile on his perfect face. Why her, Hermione thought, Why not me?  
  
~*~  
  
Okay, good first chapter...i hope. well please REVIEW becuz i said and then read the next one cuz....i said. The next chapter like skips ahead to like, 2 months later, so let's just say everyone is alot..."friendlier" (sp?) with each other.....um....yeah.  
  
WaRNiNg: the next chapter contains.........some stuff- so .....brace yourself  
  
thanks for the inspiration, Black Tear!  
  
Thanks!  
  
~*Sara AKA Lana PS: changing my pen name soon. this one is like...not me. I'll tell u what it is as soon as the change is made. *** 


	3. Decisions

Draco and Felicity sat in the Slytherin common room, 2 months later, sitting close together on the large black leather couch. Other Slytherins passed by them, waving at them and bidding them goodnight. When the common room was cleared, and the enchanted lights had dimmed themselves, the hundereds of candles littered around the room all coming to life. A fire appeared in the fire place, casting dark shadows across their faces. Draco turned towards her, slipping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer. She positioned herself on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck, their faces close together. Their noses touched, and soon their lips met, their eyes closing as they exchanged a long passionate kiss. When Felicity withdrew, she looked him deeply in the eyes, taking him in, before resting in his arms, feeling his lips on her neck. She felt his hand slide up her leg, until it was reaching up her shirt, his soft hands caressing her skin.  
Felicity's heart was beating, her hands trembling as she unbuttoned his pants. His hand slid around her, gently pushing her downward into a laying position. The fear of someone finding them was building up inside her as he kissed her neck, pulling off her robes, and then his own. Her heart was beating faster, faster. Her breath caught in her throat as he reached for her panties, the tips of his fingers touching her bare skin and sending chills through her. She suddenly felt a ping of guilt run through her, her trembling hands shaking as they glided across his skin. She closed her eyes and pushed his hands away, getting up off the couch and putting her clothes back on. "I'm sorry," she said, giving him one last look before bustling up the stairs and into her dorm.  
Draco lay dumb struck on the couch, trying to process what had just happened. They'd come so close. What else was he going to have to do to show he wanted her? Showing affection in the hallways wasn't enough? The flowers, the long talks, the essential things that are so un-Draco? He sat up and ran his fingers through his hair, sighing. He sat for a moment longer before getting up and picking up his own clothes, and walking up towards his dormitory. He glanced over at the entry to the girls' dormitory, and looked away again, continuing up the stairs.  
Felicity lay in her bed, staring up at the black canopy draped over it. Her dark green bed sheets rested messily atop her, barely serving a purpose as she lay there, thinking. She felt happy with herself and mad with herself at the same time. She was happy she'd stopped him, yet mad she'd stopped him. What was he to think of her now? They'd only really been "dating" for a month, and she felt that wasn't a long enough time to merit doing something big. It was such a huge committment, and she wasn't ready to give something so precious up. What did he think, he could just not say a word and get her to go all the way? No. It would take discussion, and she planned to talk to him about it in the morning.  
How could she feel this way? Nothing had been said. But something was almost done. But if she hadn't done anything, why did she already feel so guilty?  
  
***  
  
Hermione and Harry sat in Potions, waiting for class to begin. The doors suddenly opened, causing everyone to turn around and see who was there. Felicity Dawson stood there, looking windswept, carrying a small stack of books in her arms. She swallowed and entered the room, head held high, a small smile on her face. She saw Draco in the back row, smiling at her. She almost felt uncomfortable at that moment as she slid into the seat next to him, setting her books down on the table in front of them. "Hey," Draco said, leaning in closer to her. "Look, about last night..." "Don't worry about it," Felicity said quickly. "It's okay." "No, I wanna apologize...I rushed you." "We can discuss it later. It's okay." Draco just stared at her as she fumbled through her books, taking out a quill and ink, acting like it was nothing. He smiled softly at her, and turned around to get his books together.  
The doors swung open, banging against the dungeon walls. Professor Snape bustled into the room, his cloak flapping behind him. "Good afternoon," he said in a low, angry tone. He began conducting the lesson in the same low, harsh tone, all of the students obeying his words like robots in fear of the consequences if they did not. Draco just sat, deftly following Snape's directions, staring at Felicity. The way her eyes focused on her potion, her lips moving as she read the piece of parchment by her ingredients. He looked blankly at his own potion, all of the ingredients still sitting in front of him, untouched.  
Hermione furiously tossed things into her potion, glaring at Felicity. Malfoy was nearly drueling at her, his eyes sparkling with love. Harry touched Hermione's arm, pulling her from her gaze. "Let it be, Hermione," he said. "Just let it go." "No way in hell, Harry." She was taken aback by her own words, nearly spilling her love for Malfoy to him. "I mean....I hate Malfoy for....playing girls like this." "He doesn't look like he's playing her...although, he is drueling just a bit..." Hermione rolled her eyes at him and looked back over at Malfoy, her gaze softening as she took him in. The curves of his smile, the piercing blue color of his bright eyes; everything about him was just so perfect.  
  
Just perfect.  
  
***  
  
Harry and Ron sat in the Gryffindor common room, talking by the blazing fire. "She's got me suspicious," Harry said, staring into the flames. "Worried." "What are you sayin', Harry?" Ron asked him, looking curious. "Are you saying you think Hermione likes...Malfoy?" Harry looked over at him and nodded. "You're bloody insane, you know that, right?" Harry just looked back into the fire, his thoughts settling on Hermione. Ron was blabbing on and on about how impossible his theory was, but Harry blocked him out. Could he bear to see Hermione get hurt? He wanted so bad just to flat out ask her if she liked Malfoy, but, knowing Hermione, she would deny it, and get mad. But he wanted to know- so he could tell her the truth about him as well. He'd loved her since the first time he saw her on the train on the way to school his first year. She'd whipped out her wand and repaired his broken glasses, which were now replaced by contact lenses. Her smile, her laugh, the way she was too smart for her own good- they were all part of the reason he loved her. And he planned to tell her these reasons- if only there wasn't a possiblity of her being in love with Draco Malfoy.  
  
~*~  
  
Sorry, somewhat short chapter, but it gives you a lot of hints on what's gonna happen next or later on in the story. Please review- i love reviews.  
  
PS: The next chap will have some "explicit content" just so ya know.  
  
love u all xoxo ~*/RainKisses\*~ 


	4. Giving It All Away

Draco and Felicity walked in the hallway, followed by their usual pack of Slytherins. Pansy spotted them from across the hall, holding hands and walking close together, Draco whispering things in her ear ; the way she was giggling at his quiet words. He never did that with me, Pansy thought. Helen Lenger stood beside her, watching as Pansy's fists clenched up each time Draco would whisper to Felicity, and kiss her cheek. "What. A. Bitch." Helen said, almost trying to reassure her. "What a MAJOR bitch." Pansy's cheeks were burning as they passed them, Draco giving her a quick blank glance and turning back towards Felicity.  
"He dumped me for THAT?" Pansy said, unclenching her fists and watching as they stopped in front of one of the classroom doors and shared a small kiss, withdrawing and smiling. Felicity disappeared into the classroom, and Draco continued on with his friends. "Let him go, Pansy," Helen said, steping up beside her, her arms folded across her chest. "He isn't worth your time."  
  
Hermione sat in Transfiguration, watching as Felicity glided ito the room, taking a seat at a table full of Slytherin girls. They all followed her like dogs, fawning over her. Hermione watched as they laughed and talked, waiting for class to begin. She'd seen her and Malfoy kissing in front of the doorway, smiling at each other as they bid goodbye until their next class. She wanted to ignore it, act like she didn't care- but she couldn't. Because she did care. She cared about the way Malfoy loved this girl, and not her. She cared about each kiss he shared with Felicity Dawson, but not her. She cared about the hurt she felt inside each time he passed her in the hallways, ignoring her completely. It didn't even bother her when he called her a mudblood anymore, for anything he said to her was all wonderful...in her eyes.  
  
***  
  
Felicity walked into the Slytherin common room late that night, the lights off and the candles glimmering as the usually do. Just as she walked in the fire sprang to life, startling her. She set her books down on a near by table and sighed. "Hey." She nearly screamed as she turned around, finding Draco there. "You scared the shit outta me." she said quickly, taking deep breaths to steady her heart. He just stared into her eyes, his gaze lustful and excited. She raised an eyebrow at him. He came in closer to her, his lips touching hers ever-so-gently, the tip of his tongue brushing her lips. Her eyes were closing as she took in the moment, feeling his hands on her skin as he reached up her shirt, his warm breath on her neck. She knew what he wanted. "Draco." She took his hand and gently pushed it away. "We need to talk about this." Draco stepped back, running his fingers through his hair. He would do anything for this girl to keep her, and he planned to. They sat down on the couch, close together.  
"You know this is a big decision." "Yeah." Draco looked into her eyes, feeling himself drowning in them. "We both need to be comfortable with it- and have no regrets about it." He nodded. "Are you willing to promise me something?" "Anything." Felicity swallowed. "Promise me you love me." Draco continued to gaze into her eyes, seeing his own reflection staring back at him. "I promise." Felicity gave him a soft smile, before leaning in, slipping her hand gently around the back of his neck and kissing him. She withdrew and smiled again. "I love you." He smiled back at her, his hand gently stroking her leg. "I love you, too."  
They kissed again, their lips slipping over one another's, the taste of cherry lip gloss in their mouths. Felicity let him lay her down, taking one quick glance at the dormitory entries, making sure it was all clear. Seeing that it was, she turned back to him, kissing him again, feeling his hands all over her. He pulled her robes off, lettting them drop to the floor. She pulled her sweater off over her head, dropping it beside the couch, before reaching for his robes, and pulling them off.  
Clothes continued falling to the floor, and soon, Felicity felt what she'd waited sixteen years for. At that moment they were one person, wrapped up in each other, the moment Felicity would remember for the rest of her life. Her heart sped up as she began to breathe harder and harder, never wanting it to stop. This feeling of warmth and love flooded into her with each breath, each word he whispered in her ear. She turned herself over, positioning herself on top of him, looking into his eyes. She pushed him into her, and leaned forward, kissing him. "Thank you." She whispered, before kissing his neck.  
  
***  
  
Days passed, and Hermione noticed Felicity and Malfoy weren't showing up in their classes as much. They'd either not be there at all, or they'd arrive late, their fingers interlocked, looking out of breath. Today, Hermione noticed they were actually in class, on time, and walking together in the hallways as usual. Every time he pulled her close, every time their lips touched, every time they embraced, Hermione felt alone. There was no one who would want her- but she wanted someone. Someone she could never have.  
  
Draco pulled Felicity closer to him, his grip on her tightening as if he was afraid she'd float away. She was talking with Laura, her cherry lip gloss slicked lips moving gracefully. Draco watched them move, but heard no sound come from them. He watched them move, remembering the way they felt when they touched his; thinking about the way everything else melted away when she was there. He thought about what he would do if she left. His mind drew a blank. He wouldn't do anything. He couldn't do anything. Without Felicity, Draco was nothing.  
  
~*~ Well.....what'd ya think?!? It adds climax to it because she just gave her virginity to this guy, so that must mean SOMETHING, right?!?!?  
  
Okay well, the next one will be up once i get some more reviews. (or just possibly by tomorrow) PS: Thanks everyone for the wonderful reviews, i love you for it (specially crazeemonkey- YOU rock!)  
  
Next one coming soon, sorry this one was so short.  
  
Love, Sara AKA Lana (or Home English Muffin -don't ask-)  
  
PPS: SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL PUNK BAND 


	5. Secrets Revealed

Hermione fell against a wall, tears streaming from her eyes. Her gentle sobs were the only sound in the empty corridor, the soft light from the torches reflecting in her eyes and casting shadows on her face. She slid to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest and burying her face in her hands. She replayed the scene over and over in her head, feeling it cut into her each time.  
She had been walking to dinner, and noticed one of the classroom doors was slightly ajar, nothing but darkness spilling from the crack. She was curious, and had went to close the door, when she noticed movement inside the dark room. She quietly opened the door, light from the hallway pouring into the room, putting a spotlight on the people inside. Draco Malfoy and Felicity Dawson had been there, Felicity laid out on one of the tables, Draco on top of her, kissing her passionately and reaching up her shirt. Hermione let out a gasp and froze, staring at them in shock. They had stopped kissing, and both stared at her, looking both scared and surprised. Finally, Draco spoke. "Granger!" Hermione ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her and running down the hallway.  
Hermione wiped the tears from her eyes and stood up, smoothing out her skirt. She sniffed and began walking back down the hallway, towards the Great Hall. When she walked inside, she spotted Harry and Ron sitting at the Gryffindor table, talking over their dinner. She walked slowly over to them, taking her seat beside Harry. They both looked over at her, noticing her tear streaked face and red swollen eyes. "Are you alright there, Hermione?" Harry asked softly. Hermione nodded quickly, picking up her fork and poking at the food on the plate in front of her. Harry stared at her suspiciously and turned back to his food, giving Ron a quick see-what-I- mean glance.  
Hermione glanced at the door, just as Felicity and Draco appeared in it. They were hand in hand, Felicity's shirt untucked and hair messed up. Knots tied in Hermione's stomach as she watched them walk towards the Slytherin table, taking their seats with their usual gang. New tears formed behind her eyes as dinner continued, her fork frozen in her hand, staring at them. Draco's nose brushed against Felicity's cheek as he whispered to her, slipping his arm around her and pulling her into a kiss. With each touch, smile, kiss : Hermione's world began to cave in.  
  
Felicity's mind was wandering as she lay in bed that night, staring up at the canopy above her bed. She thought about that night, the night she gave up the only thing she had left to hold dear, the one thing that kept her dignity alive. But now it was gone- thrown out the window like it was something replaceable and unimportant. Why had she done it? Why had she given into his charm? Felicity felt her broken heart collapse, sending a stinging to her eyes as tears spilled from them. Marissa's face was in her mind- sending chills through her.  
She remembered that night as if it was yesterday- the night she'd spent with her muggle cousin, Marissa. They were driving, out late, bottles of beer littering the floor of the car. In a drunken swerve, Marissa had run a red light and was blind sided by a truck, sending the car flipping and flying. Felicity remembered the shattering glass raining down on her, the sirens and the screams. She remembered a blurry slur of words, still playing in her mind. Her cousin's words: "Felicity!" That was the last thing she'd said before she fell limp on top of Felicity, blood dripping from a cut on her arm. Felicity blacked out then, the bright red lights flashing blurrily in her mind.  
Marissa had been her best friend- her confidant, the one person she could tell anything in the world to. And ever since she died, Felicity had little to hold on to. Her parents were both dead- both killed by Death Eaters. She'd lived with Marissa and her aunt and uncle in the muggle world, spending each day with Marissa. Thinking of it all now made her insides churn. She thought about the exact second she'd become a woman- the exact moment, the feeling, the thoughts in her mind: What am I doing?  
Felicity blinked away tears as she rolled over onto her side, letting her tears fall down onto her pillow. When she finally fell asleep, she had nightmares about the night of the accident, the sound of Marissa's voice screaming her name echoing over and over in her mind.  
  
***  
  
Draco sat by the lake, staring out at the hills that rose above it. He felt so content in that moment, yet he felt empty. He wanted so much for Felicity to be there to share it with him, to be in his arms as he watched the sun set, the rays of orange light glimmering off the surface. Behind him, he heard footsteps and whispering. Turning around, he saw Hermione Granger and Harry Potter walking together and sitting down by a tree.  
"What did you want to talk to me about?" Hermione asked Harry, folding her hands in her lap. "I've been worried about you, Hermione," Harry said, trying to ease into the subjest of his worries about Malfoy. "You aren't acting like yourself lately." Hermione's face went pale. "I-I didn't know you'd noticed." "It's not just your schoolwork. I've noticed other things, too." Hermione swallowed, and looked scared. "I've noticed the way you look at Malfoy. The way you're always saying mean things about that Felicity Dawson." He paused. "Is it because you are jealous of her?" Hermione sat, quietly looking down at the ground, twiddling her thumbs in her lap. "Hermione." "Maybe."  
Draco's eyes got wide. Was Granger really crushing on him? "You mean that you like Malfoy?!" Hermione got tears in her eyes. "Yes, Harry, I do." Harry was speechless, his expression one of shock. "I do, I love him. I don't care if he calls me a mudblood, I don't care if he treats me like dirt, I don't care that he hates me from the depth of his soul- I love him, and I will always love him." Hermione got up, storming away, tears falling from her eyes. Harry sat, still silent, not knowing how to react. Draco waited until he left to emerge from his hiding place behind the rock. He followed Potter back into the castle, before taking off towards the Slytherin common room. He had to rid himself of the thought of Granger loving him, and he knew exactly how. He would find Felicity, hold her close and take her in, forgetting completely about everything else.  
The memory of that night was still fresh in his mind, and he smiled to himself as he cooked up a plan to relive it. When he reached the common room, he whispered the password and went inside, looking around. Felicity was no where to be found, not sitting in her usual chair by the fire reading a book like usual. Draco began to worry, and began asking people if they had seen her. "Sorry," Crabbe said. "I haven't seen her all day." Draco knew of only one more place to look- the girls' dormitory. Even if the boys were not allowed up there, he was worried and had to find her.  
So he climbed the stairs, despite the calls from fellow Slytherins not to, and walked into the girls' dormitory. He looked around, and spotted a bed with the curtans drawn closed, blocking out whoever was inside. He noticed a picture of him and Felicity smiling and waving back at him from the night table, and he knew it was Felicity's bed. He walked over to the bed, reaching for the curtain. "Felicity?" He said softly as he pulled it open. He pushed the curtain aside, revealing the horror that lay behind it.  
  
~*~  
  
OMG I am SOOOO leaving you guys hanging! Sorry!  
  
You found out alot didn't you? You found out about Felicity's past, and Draco found out about Hermione's obsession.  
  
What has happened to Felicity?  
  
You shall find out.....soon enough. REVIEWS, I want reviews or else you'll have to wait longer!!  
  
Lots of Love, Sara  
  
PS: IM me on AIM- TFbabiGiRL922 or e-mail me/IM me on AOL- ToMmYzBaBy922 (@aol.com)  
  
Love ya all!!! 


	6. Is This Goodbye?

The world stood still, time frozen in place. Draco's heart skipped a beat, his mind racing. Goosebumps popped up on his neck, sending a shiver down his spine. Felicity was laying there, sprawled out on the bed, a small vile in her cold hand. Her eyes were closed, her face pale. Draco glanced over at the nightable and noticed the note laying in front of the picture of Felicity and him. He picked it up, reading it to himself.  
  
"My Dearest Draco,  
  
I am very sorry- but by the time you read this, I will probably already be gone. I couldn't bear to hurt anymore, and with all of my selfishness, I took my own life to rid me of all pain and suffering, without thinking of the pain it would cause the ones I left behind. Please, do not cry for me. Do not let this hurt you the way it hurts me. If you remember nothing about our relationship- remember just this- I loved you with all of my heart and soul, and I am now giving my heart to you along with all of it's memories and everything I held dear for you to keep close to your own heart.  
  
I'll love you forever.  
  
Until we meet again, I love you and miss you, and I will be watching over you.  
  
Lovingly Yours, Felicity."  
  
Draco's hand shook as he let the piece of parchment fall to the floor. He looked at the stone cold Felicity, looking more asleep then dead. Asleep. Asleep.....A thought came into Draco's mind. "Snape," he whispered to himself. "Snape will know what to do." Draco gently took the vile from Felicity's hand and put the lid back on it, containing whatever was left in it inside of it. He pulled the bedcurtains closed again and snatched up the letter, shoving it in his pocket. Draco rushed down the stairs, grasping the small vile in his hand. People eyed him as he emerged from the entryway, looking pale and frightened. "What's wrong, Draco?" Crabbe asked him when he passed by him. "Is Felicity alright?" Draco nodded quickly. "She's fine. She isn't feeling well and is resting." He looked over at the group of Felicity's close friends standing together. "Don't disturb her, let her rest." He told them, before giving Crabbe one last glance and hurrying from the common room.  
Draco stampeded through the hallways, running down the stairs towards the dungeons. The vile was still clutched in his hand, his heart beating as his pace quickened. He finally reached Professor Snape's office, and barged through the door. Snape was sitting at his desk, small glsases resting on his crooked nose as he graded papers. "Professor Snape." Draco called to him as he made his way up to his desk, his voice echoing off the walls. Snape looked up at him curiously, a surprised look on his face. "Yes, Mr. Malfoy?" Draco dropped the vile onto the desk in front of him, and Snape picked it up, examining it with wide eyes. "What is that?" Draco said, trying to catch his breath. Snape looked at him suspiciously. "How did you get this?" "Just tell me what it is." Draco snapped, his voice raising. Snape stared at him for a moment before looking back down at the vile in his hand.  
"It's Lentrentia." "Letrentia? What does it do?" "It's a very powerful potion, I must say. Stops the heart." "Does this mean it kills? Or are the effects temporary?" "Only temporary, but the person who consumed it must be hospitalized immediately. After twelve hours the potion takes...permanent effects." "Permanent? Meaning...they die?" Snape looked p at him and nodded slowly. "Mr. Malfoy- I will ask you again. Where did you get this?" Draco hesitated, but decided it only best to tell. "It wasn't me who took it, Professor," Draco said, running his fingers through his hair and slumping down into the chair across from Snape's desk. "Felicity did." "Miss Dawson?" Draco nodded. Snape stood up hurriedly searching his cabinets for something. He finally pulled out a small blue bottle, a sparkling green liquid visible through the transparent glass. Snape tucked it into his pocket and Draco stood up. "Where is she?" Snape asked him. Draco whirled around, leading Snape back up to the Slytherin common room.  
  
***  
  
Hermione twisted har hair around her finger, staring out across the grounds. The balcony was cold, and the wind blew gently around her, turning her cheeks a soft pink. The news of Felicity Dawson's near-death experience had stunned the entire school, including her. It wasn't Felicity that had stunned her, but the sight of Draco each day made her want to cry. His eyes were bloodshot and dark circles dropped under them, his sleepless nights showing. The way he sat alone in the corner desk in each class, staring at Felicity's empty seat beside him pained Hermione inside, making her want to comfort him more and more each time she saw him. In between each class she saw him slip into the hospital wing, a fresh new batch of flowers to put in the small vase on Felicity's bedside table.  
The wind blew past her ears, sending a chill through her. He loved Felicity so much, and Hermione knew it. Even though not many others believed Draco Malfoy actually had feelings, Hermione knew he did. It showed in the way he kissed Felicity, the way he was always near her, the way he smiled when he saw her, the way now that she is slipping away his heart is showing on his sleeve. Hermione could see the pieces of his broken heart glimmering in his sad eyes. Thinking about the way he loved Felicity was making her reconsider things she once thought were true; making her reconsider her love for Draco. How could she ever believe she could have him when he was so deeply in love with someone else? Hermione would nevre be able to forgive herself if she ever broke up something so precious; so beautiful, even if it gave her the one thing she'd dreamed of forever.  
  
***  
  
Draco sat at Felicity's bedside, holding her hand. Madame Pomphrey didn't say much, but always gave him pained looks of sympathy when she saw him. He knew she was dying- he knew there was no way to save her. He knew soon she would be gone and he would be alone again, each horrible second of his life being spent in pain. He knew all of this- but he didn't accept it. He loved her too much to ever imagine life without her, and now, as he watched her slip away before his eyes, he pushed the pain aside, and squeezed her hand. A small tear slipped from his eye, glimmering on his cheek. He leaned forward and rested his head by her side, breathing in her scent, small sobs erupting from him. He had never cried like this before- never had he shown so much emotion for someone- until Felicity. Felicity was al he'd ever wished ofr, the one person he would live forever with and love for always. But he just lay his head down on her chest, listening to her slow heart beat. Snape's potion had not worked the way he'd planned- for the Lentrentia had been in ehr system too long to save her completely from it's damage.  
Draco squeezed her hand, letting hsi tear drops trickle down and fall ontot he bed. How would he live? How would he ever go on? What was he to do? For the only thing that mattered in life was her, the way he felt when he saw his reflection...in her eyes.  
  
~*~  
  
WOWIE- i bet you loved it. but I am leaving you hanging again.  
  
Will Felicity die? What will Draco do if she does?  
  
Will Hermione let go of her love for Draco and see the love that is right before her eyes in the heart of her best friend?  
  
Please read and review- and I will write the next chapter and post it AS SOON AS I CAN.  
  
Love you all,  
  
sara 


	7. One Final Kiss

Hermione stood alone in the hallway, looking around. No one was there, and she took a deep breath. Walking slowly and quietly, she went off towards the hospital wing. When she entered through the large doors, she looked around the large room, examining the beds. She saw one with a curtain up around it, and she quietly walked over to it, walking around the curtain. Felicity Dawson lay there, looking pale and fragile. A large assortment of flowers were arranged in a vase on the bedside table, along with cards and letters from fellow classmates. A chair was sitting beside the bed, obviously the one Draco sat in every time he went there, holding her hand, praying for her to wake up.  
Hermione stepped carefully around the bed, and lowered herself into the chair. The room was quiet and still, and Hermione examined the cards on the bedside table before looking back at Felicity. "I'm very sorry, Felicity," Hermione whispered softly. "I've hated you all this time and I never even knew you." Hermione swallowed. "Jealousy is a horrible thing. It can make people believe things that are only assumptions- make them believe that the only thing that is right is what they are thinking. My jealousy of you made me believe you were a cruel and hateful person- when you really weren't. That's why I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never got to know you for who you really were."  
Hermione reached out and gently touched Felicity's cold hand. "I really am sorry." There was a sudden noise, and Hermione looked up. Her heart stopped for a split second when she found herself staring into the blood-shot eyes of Draco Malfoy. He was carrying a few notes and cards from other students, and his usual batch of flowers. Hermione sat in a stunned silence, not knowing what to say or do. "Dra-Malfoy- I..." "Don't bother explaining, Granger," Draco said softly as he walked around the bed and put the cards and flowers on the bedside table. He pulled up a chair and sat down beside her. "You aren't the first." Hermione looked over at him. "What'd'you mean?" "Potter's been here. So has Weasley. And a bunch of other Gryffindors." Hermione looked back over at Felicity, her chest slowly rising and falling. "All come to pay their respects, I suppose." Draco continued, looking dreadfully tired and depressed.  
Hermione didn't say anything, for she could see the look in his eyes that said "I need someone to talk to." Hermione just sat quietly. And let him talk. "She's dying, you know," Draco said, his voice a monotone. "There's nothing anyone can do. Everyone is telling me to have faith- that she'll pull through. But they don't know. They don't know how it feels to see the girl you love dying. They have no idea." Hermione could hear the pain in his trembling voice. He was silent for a few awkward moments, and this is when she decided it best to talk. "You musn't think about that," she said, looking over at him. "Everyone is right. Have faith in her, believe in her and maybe, just maybe, she'll wake up. You've just got to believe, Draco." Hermione was stunned at her own words. She had never called him Draco before, and it seemed strange to her. But he had no reaction to it. He just continued staring at Felicity, not even blinking.  
"You've got to get some rest," Hermione urged. "You look horrible." Draco waved her off. "I'm fine." "No, you must-" "I know how you feel about me, Hermione." Draco's words sent a chill through her. She was stunned both of how he had found out and how he had called her Hermione. "What'd'you mean?" "I know that you love me." Hermione swallowed. She felt her cheeks burn. "It's alright," Draco said. "I'm not going to make fun of you. Or call you a filthy mudblood. Or tell the entire school." Hermione just sat, taking in his words, filing them away into her memory. This moment was once in a lifetime. "Felicity taught me not to take love for granted- she told me never to judge someone you don't know." Hermione felt a knot tie in hre stomach. Felicity had told Draco exactly what Hermione was beginning to realize about Felicity. "She's right." Hermione looked over at him, studying his face. "You shouldn't."  
  
***  
  
Draco's lungs slammed shut. The entire room was quiet. The casket sat in the front of the dimly lit room, the top part of it raised. He walked shakily up to it, his eyes clouding with tears. A lifeless Felicity lay inside- her hands crossed gracefully at her waist, holding a single white lilly. Her hair fell over the white satin pillow, her heart-shaped face still and expressionless. A tear escaped Draco's eye and he quickly wiped it away. She wouldn't want him to be hurting like this. She'd said so in the final words she'd left for Draco in the letter. Draco leaned down and kissed her lips gently, the icy cold sting of death running through him as he did. The one girl he'd ever truly loved- gone. What was he going to do?  
  
Hermione watched with tears in her eyes as Draco whispered something into Felicity's ear, another tear spilling from his eye. She had never seen him cry- much less show any emotion whatsoever in public. But this was something so horribly sad, she didn't blame him for having to hide his tearing eyes to avoid losing his tough-guy reputation. Hermione watched him as he walked away from the casket, walking out of the room. She saw Felicity's aunt and uncle in the corner, holding each other as they cried. They'd lost so much- their daughter, and now Felicity. Hermione's heart was filled with pain as she walked up to the casket, tears falling from her eyes like rain. "I'm sorry Felicity," she said softly. "I promise to take care of him for you."  
  
~*~  
  
Whoa- I am making MYSELF cry!  
  
Yes, sadly, our beloved, sweet, kind, wonderful Felicity has left us. But what will Draco do now that she is gone? How will the school, her family, and especially Draco cope with her death?  
  
Saaaaaad chapter- but, it teaches all of us something about life, doesn't it? Live each day as if it were your last, because one day, it will be. Never judge those you do not know. Sara 


	8. Seductions

Pansy Parkinson watched Draco Malfoy from across the common room. He was sitting in the corner, chatting wuietly with Crabbe and Goyle. It'd been a month since he'd lost Felicity, but he still led his life quietly, his bad- boy image barely holdong on anymore. Everyone had seen a different side of Draco when Felicity died, and Pansy could see the old Draco sparkling in his eyes as he left out a small laugh- something very rare.  
"You know," she said to Helen Lenger. "I think I liked him better before all of this." Helen nodded."It's so sad about Felicity, though," Helen added softly. "It really tore him up." Pansy glanced over at her, then looked back at Draco. "The girl killed herself, Helen- there had to of been something to merit suicide." "What'd'you mean?" "I mean Draco had to have known the girl had problems- but what did he do? Nothing. Except use her for a good fuck now and then." Helen's face twisted into one of disgust. "I don't know how in the world you can still be jealous of her, Pansy," she said hastily, standing up. "I hope you burn in hell for saying something so horrible." Helen stomped away, exiting the common room.  
Pansy just looked back over at Draco, a lustful look in her eyes. 'I'll have him,' she thought, 'I'll have him if it's the last thing I do.'  
  
***  
  
Draco sat alone in the Slytherin common room, examining a picture in his hand. Felicity smiled brightly and blew kisses at him from the frame, her memory caught in time. The candlelight bounced off the glass, reflecting in his eyes. "I love you, Felicity," he whispered, touching the glass with his fingers. There was a sudden sound by the girls' dormitory entrance, and Draco looked up to see Pansy Parkinson standing there. Niether of them said a word as Pansy glided over to him, lowering herself down onto the sofa next to him. "I miss you, Draco," she whispered, scooting closer to him. "I miss the old you."  
"We all miss things, Pansy," Draco said, putting the picture facedown on the table beside the sofa. "That's the way life goes." "You've gotta let her go," Pansy said, turning his face towards her. "Let her go." "Easier said then done." "What is it worth to hang onto a memory, while you could be making more?" Pansy's eyes flashed, her finger tracing his lips. Draco pushed her hand away. "I loved her." "She's in the past." "No, Pansy, she'll never be in the past." "Well you better find a fucking better way to live." Draco just stared into her black eyes as they flashed and glinted in the candlelight. Pansy's hand felt it's way up to his shoulder, and around his neck, pulling his lips towards hers. She pulled him into a passionate kiss, pressing his lips open with hers. Her hands crept down his robes, reaching for the top of his pants.  
Draco pushed her hand away and shoved her back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Fuck off, Pansy." "I know you did it with her, Draco," Pansy said, pushing him down into a laying position and leaning across him. "Why not with me?" Her lips met his again, and her hand crept back to his pants. She pulled a fast one and slipped them off of him, letting the drop to the floor. She took off her own robes, throwing them down beside his. He watched in silence as she slipped off his boxers, smiling as she slid down him, her lips touching his skin. He pushed her away, just as she went to give him what any other guy would kill for. "I said fuck off." Draco slipped his boxers back on and gathered up his clothes, walking towards the boys' dormitory, leaving the half-naked Pansy sitting dumstruck on the couch.  
  
***  
  
Hermione was walking through the hallway, a note in her hand. She examined the small piece of parchment, reading the words to herself : "Meet me at 8 in the empty classroom on the fifth floor. We need to talk." Draco had scribbled his name at the bottom before shoving it into her hand when he passed by her earlier that day. Hermione turned a corner, looking down the next hallway. One of the doors was slightly open, nothing but darkness coming from inside it. Hermione walked slowly towards it, before cautiously opening it and going inside. Hermione saw Draco sitting on the corner of one of the tables, his legs hanging off of it, his arms folded across his chest. Hermione shut the door behind her, putting the note back into her pocket. "You wanted to talk to me?" Draco looked up at her and nodded, getting off the table.  
He gestured towards the chairs at the table, and they both took a seat. After a long awkward silence, Draco spoke. "When Felicity died, she wrote me this letter." Draco pulled the crumpled and worn piece of parchment from inside his robes, handing it to her. Hermione opened it, reading it with pain in her heart. "I never knew how bad she felt. I never knew about her pain. She never told me- I guess she was hiding it...not just from me, either. She was hiding it from the world." Hermione finished reading the letter and set it down on the table. "I am praying you don't blame yourself for this, Draco," she said softly, gazing into his eyes. He didn't answer. "Felicity would want you to be happy, she says it here," Hermione said, pointing at the letter. "She loved you. She would never want to see you in pain." The room was silent. Long moments passed by, Hermione's mind ticking. "Draco," she said softly. He looked up at her, his eyes filled with pain. "Why me?" Draco just stared at her. Why her? Because Felicity had taught him something so valuable, something so precious that he would never let it go- and never again would he let his ego stand in the way of a beautiful relationship. "Because I thought I could trust you." He said to her, staring into her eyes. "You know you can." Hermione said, blinking back tears.  
"You know, we had more then just a physical relationship- it ran so deep that I now feel so bloody alone I could die." "You musn't say such things." "Easy for you to say, you don't know how it feels." "But I am trying to help. I don't need to know how it feels to attempt at giving you some comfort." Draco considered this. He knew she was right. She always was. She reminded him of Felicity a bit; with her deep thoughts and meaningful words- it was like having a conversation with her again. Just like old times.  
Another long silence passed before Draco spoke again. "Pansy tried to seduce me last night, you know." Hermione looked shocked. "She did not." Draco nodded. "She claimed I needed to let Felicity go, gabbing on about making NEW memories." "You musn't let people like that get to you," Hermione said. "They'll be the ones facing the consquences once you've realized thier game." Draco looked up at her again, lifting his head from it's position in his hand. He leaned closer to her, taking her in. "Thank you." He said, his voice barely a whisper. Their eyes closed as their lips met, exchanging a gentle kiss. Draco pulled away, scolding himself inside his head. "I-I'm sorry..." He mumbled, standing up. "I think I'd better go." Draco left the room, leaving a very confused Hermione sitting alone in the darkness.  
  
***  
  
"Hermione?" Harry looked up at her from his seat on the couch. "What are you doing up?" "I was talking with someone." Harry's expression didn't change, he just scooted over and patted the seat next to him. Hermione sat down, sighing as she did. Harry unnoticably scooted closer to her, his hand brushing hers.  
  
"You okay?" He asked her, noticing she hadn't acknowledged him yet.  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
Hermione nodded, looking over at him.  
  
"I'm just still sorting things out."  
  
"What'd'you mean?"  
  
"What with Felicity and everything....life has been...different."  
  
"You didn't even know her."  
  
"But her death effected me all the same."  
  
Harry scooted even closer to her, pressing against her. He took her chin in has hand, turning her face towards him. "There's something I have to tell you." Hermione swallowed. What now? she thought. "I've been holding it back for too long." Hermione just looked nervously into his eyes as his face came closer and closer to hers. "I love you, Hermione." Harry said, and she could feel his breath on her face. Their lips touched, his hand still on her chin. Hermione fell into the kiss, letting him take her over. Soon, he'd laid her down on the couch, still kissing her. His hand crept up her shirt, and she could feel his heart beating against hers. A face came into her mind, making her suddenly push Harry away.  
"What's wrong?" Harry said, looking down at her. Hermione closed her eyes, trying to push Draco's face from her mind. She sat up, resting her elbows on her knees and covering her face with ehr hands. "I'm sorry, Harry," she said, getting up. "I can't do this."  
  
***  
  
"Draco!" Millicent Bulstrode called to him as she came running down the steps and out through the girls' dormitory entrance. "Draco, look!" Draco walked over to her and examined the small black notebook in her hand. "What is that?" He said, looking up at her. "I was picking up around the room and I found it. It's Felicity's diary."  
  
~*~  
  
What kind of stuff is in that diary? You'll see- in the next chapter....  
  
reviews!!! reviews please!!! i need more or else i'll be waiting longer in betwen chapters to update....  
  
love yas  
  
sara 


	9. Discoveries

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
  
sorry- "abc" was right, it is getting boring and depressing, but don't worry- keep tuning in becuz I already know what happens (duh) and you guys will love it- trust me- it gets better.....  
  
On with the next chapter....  
  
PS: Sorry about the delay- i just got my computer fixed so now i promise to update more...  
  
***  
  
Hermione had been thinking about Draco all afternoon- her eyes constantly wandering about the room, her thoughts drifting away from the droning voice of Professor Snape. Potions class mainly consisted of taking huge portions of notes- but Hermione found herself doing otherwise. She had potions with the Slytherins, meaning her eyes were fixd on Draco the entire period. He looked up- noticing her stare. Hermione blushed and looked away, feeling humiliated. She was still puzzled about the way he'd confided in her, why he'd chosen a "flithy little mudblood" to spill his heart out to.  
  
And she was still puzzled as he slipped her another note after class, before giving her a quick glance and hurrying off down the hallway. Hermione ducked into an empty hallway and unfolded the note:  
  
"Meet me at 9- same place.  
  
-Draco"  
  
Hermione shoved the note into her pocket, taking off to class.  
  
***  
  
Draco's expression was one of anger when Hermione walked into the classroom that night. Hermione closed the door and stared at him, waiting for him to say something. Draco hopped off the table he was sitting on and walked over to her, shoving a small, black leather bound book at her, before slumping down into one of the chairs. Hermione eyed the book, and turned it over in her hands. She flipped open the cover, her breath catching in her throat. "The Diary of Felicity Dawson" was written in bubbly letter across the first page. "Draco..." "Read it." He snapped at her, not even looking up. Hermione flipped it to the first page, reading to herself.   
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I feel so horrible- well, what else is new? I just caught glimpse of Hermione Granger- Gryffindor. But, not only that, but I also caught a glimpse of Draco Malfoy, the one guy I've ever liked, checking her out. Life is a four letter word.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I ran into that Granger girl. What a prat. Me, being as thoughtful and nice as physically possible for a Slytherin, said a small "Oh, excuse me." But all I got in return was a nasty glare and a "Watch where you're going." I always thought she was nice- but if I had no friends- I'd be a bitch too.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
My wish is coming true. Draco Malfoy actually asked me out. HE asked ME out. No joke. I was so stunned I could barely breathe. But, once again, I saw Granger. That girl has some nerve- either she's always PMSing or she just needs an attitude adjustment- either way, she's a bitch! I gave her a small POLITE smile in the hallway because I could barely contain my joy of Draco asking me out I would even smile to a mudblood Gryffindor bitch. So anyway, she glares at me again and purposely runs into me, casuing all my books to fall, and, even worse, when I bent down, Draco walked out of the classroom we'd been in and saw at leadst three other guys checking me out. He obviously thought I was some slut for letting them look at me like that, and he didn't even look at me before he walked away. Stupid Granger has to ruin everything.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
You won't believe what I saw. Granger was staring at Draco all through class- giving him all these dreamy looks. Everytime I noticed her looking, she'd give me her usualFelicity Death Stare (FDS) and I've just look away, trying not to throw something at that bushy head of hers. Good thing I have Draco. Life seems to be looking up.  
  
Hermione stopped reading for a moment, confused. "I don't understand." "She tried her hardest for you to accept her, Granger." Draco said, still not even looking up. Hermione was confused- why had he called her Granger again? He'd been calling her Hermione for the past week or so now. "I...I never knew." "Obviously." Draco said, finally looking up at her. "I'm still not getting the point here." "Read on."  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
With every FDS Granger shoots at me, it reminds me of how life used to be. Back when I lived with my parents. The teasing, the torture. I remember it- the kids in my neighborhood were all muggles, all of them thinking magic was just something parents made up to scare them. Of course though, I couldn't tell them it was real. They used to taunt me- it was horrible. I used to wear my hair in two braids, and they would make fun of me, calling me a "blow job with handle bars." We were only twelve and thirteen, but things like that were already becoming high-priorities. It hurt so bad, I remember I would get so mad that glasses would break, thunderstorms would roll in, and mirrors would crack. The kids made fun of me- calling me the "freak whore".   
  
I remember when I first told my mom about it. My parents were divorced, and my step-dad was a dick. I remembered how mad he'd gotten when I'd told them they kids had called me a "whore" and a "blow job with handle bars". His eyes lit up, and he started screaming at me to watch my language. The FDS reminds me of the way his eyes looked as he would grab my arm- drag me into the bathroom to "wash my mouth out", but instead, he'd take off my shirt and pants, touching me. I never told anyone, because he never had sex with me. I figured I should let him do it- or he'll only do it more.  
  
Now just looking at Granger makes me think of the pain he put me through- and inside me- I want her to know just how much it hurts.  
  
"I...I don't know what to say." Hermione said, her voice barely a whisper. "Why are you angry at me?" "Don't you see, Granger?" Draco growled, standing up.   
  
"You reminded her of her step-father and all of the horrible things he did to her. You put those bad thoughts back into her mind and made her feel like nothing again- making her feel like a failure for not getting you to like her."  
  
"So you're blaming her suicide on me? You're fucking bloody crazy!"   
  
"Granger, you dumb fuck! You don't realize what I am trying to say here. I always wondered why someone like Felicity was in Slytherin. She was too kind, too sensitive. I wondered why in the bloody world was she sensitive. Well, now we know. But it's too late now."   
  
"I am still not following."   
  
"She was sensitive to you- and everything you did. I read the entire thing, right down to the night she died. Each entry says something about you."  
  
"So me just looking at her a certain way made her kill herself?"  
  
Draco grabbed the diary from her hands, carefully tucking it away inside his robes. His usual Malfoy snarl came across his face as he pushed past Hermione and out the door. Hermione stood in shock, wondering what had just happened. Her heart was weighing on her like a ton of bricks- now blaming herself for Draco's pain. Her knees suddenly buckeled and she fell into the seat he had been sitting in, her mind racing. Tears fell from her eyes, and she buried her face in her hands, sobbing, "I'm sorry, Felicity," she whimpered to the empty room. "I'm sorry."  
  
~*~  
  
A bit confusing, but don't fret- it'll all come to view next chapter. And like I said, it will all start to look back up within the next 2 chappies. mmmkay?  
  
sorry again- please keep reading and keep giving me suggestions like abc did- i welcome critisism and suggestions- so please, feel free!!!  
  
sara 


	10. All I Want Is Everything

Pansy sat in the corner in the Slytherin Common room, staring at a pair of good-looking Slytherin boys across the room. The door suddenly swung open, and Draco walked in, looking angry. Pansy smiled to herself. She watched as he pulled the diary from the inside of his robes, looking around the room before slipping away up the steps to the boys' dormitories. Millicent appeared from the girls' dorms, tucking her hair behind her ear. Pansy waved her over to her, and Millicent plopped down in the seat opposite her. "Yeah?" "He's definately falling for it." Millicent bit her lip. "I can't believe you talked me into being part of this,"Millicent said, her expression one of disappointment. "I can't stand hurting him any more then he already has been." "All you did was give the diary to him." "But he'll blame me if he finds out." "No, you know he'll blame ME. He blames everything on ME." "Well..." Pansy waved Millicent off with her hand, looking irritated. Millicent rose from her seat, walking away with a look of anger on her small face. Pansy smiled to herself again. She would have him, and she would do anything to get him.  
  
***  
  
Harry twitched nervously in his seat when he saw Hermione surst through the entrance to the Gryffindor common room, her face tear stained. "Hermione...?" He said softly as she sat down on the sofa, burying his face in her hands and crying. "Wh-what's wrong?" Harry knew exactly what was wrong- Malfoy had shown her the diary. "Felicity..." Hermione said into her hands. Harry sat cautiously down beside her, scooting close to her. Guilt was hanging on his heart, but he just draped his arm around her shoulder, trying to comfort her for his own deed. "What about Felicity?" Hermione slid her hands from her face, her eyes glistening. "All she ever wanted was for me to like her," Hermione said, wiping her eyes. "But all I did was hate her." Hermione thought back to the day she'd sat beside Felicity's bedside. She thought about what she'd said- "Jealousy is a horrible thing. It can make people believe things that are only assumptions- make them believe that the only thing that is right is what they are thinking. My jealousy of you made me believe you were a cruel and hateful person- when you really weren't. That's why I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never got to know you for who you really were." Hermione looked at Harry. His eyes flashed, and she looked away, sniffing.   
  
"Jealousy," she whispered. "All I am is a green rat of jealousy- why can't I just be happy for what I have?" Harry didn't say anything, just watched her as she got up and leaned against the mantle, staring into the fire. "Why must I be so goddamn ungrateful?" She said, looking over at him. "Hermione," he said, walking towards her. "Don't think like that." Hermione looked back into the fire, not finding comfort in his words. "Draco hates me now." Harry felt his stomach tie into a knot- his plan had succeeded- why did he feel so horrible? He saw the fire reflecting in the tears that ran down her cheeks as she spoke those words. He knew how much she loved him- the reasons still unclear.   
  
"I really don't know what to say," Harry said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I don't know how to comfort you." "Don't even try," Hermione said, not even looking up from the fire. "Nothing can comfort me." She looked over at Harry. "My jealousy killed someone Harry," she said softly, her voice cracking as more tears slid down her cheeks. "How am I to live with that?" She looked back into the fire, holding back whimpers. Harry felt his heart go into his throat. 'How can I live with what I have done to YOU, Hermione?' He thought, before turning around and walking up to the dormitory.  
  
***  
  
"You've GOT to pull yourself together, Potter," Pansy said sternly. "This is going to be a win-win situation if this works out." "IF." Harry said, looking into her black eyes. "It will." Pansy said, sitting back. "Draco will be mine and Hermione will be yours. It will all work just the way we planned." "I don't know," Harry said, feeling nervous and unsure. "Hermione was really torn up about Malfoy." "Ha," Pansy laughed, putting her feet up onto the table and crossing her arms.   
  
"She'll get over him- the minute he calls her a mudblood- just like before."   
  
"Felicity changed everything."  
  
"For the worse."  
  
"For the better." Harry corrected her, still staring into her eyes. "She made Malfoy...different."  
  
"She made him into a lovesick idiot. And then she went and killed herself and made him hate life."  
  
"He's back to being the asshole he was before."  
  
Pansy smiled and sighed dreamily. "I know."  
  
'What is it with these Slytherins?' Harry thought, wondering why Pansy, or anyone rather, would like Draco AssHole Malfoy.  
  
"Well then Potter," Pansy said, letting her feet drop down back to the floor and standing up.  
  
"You keep quiet about it- and we'll both get what we want. You blab- we both lose everything. A lot is on the line here."  
  
Harry nodded, and Pansy left the room, looking satisfied with herself. 'A lot IS on the line,' Harry thought. 'Hermione's happiness.'  
  
~*~  
  
So now things are piecing together, just like i said. one of my reviewers was ALMOST right when she said she thought Pansy and Millicent had written the diary. But now, what have we here? Someone you never imagined had something to do with this??!?  
  
Okay, very very very short chapter i know but I'll add another one like before i go to sleep tonight so you'll get a double dose.  
  
love all my reviewers!! and thank you for all of your sympathy about my dear friend. you guys rock.  
  
reviews reviews reviews and suggestions and commenst please please please!!  
  
sara  
  
new AIM: ILuvFishermen (just if youre wondering: Tom Felton loves fishing, so that explains my s/n lol IM me sometime!!!) 


	11. Lies

A week had passed, and Draco still hadn't even done so much as look at Hermione. Hermione had given into Harry's pleads and agreed to go out with him- but each kiss, touch, night- it meant nothing to her. All she wanted was Draco- even with each time he passed her in the hallways without saying a word to her. Even though using her best friend as bait weighed on her heart- she couldn't remove Draco from it.   
  
Harry felt happy that he'd gotten what he wanted, but he still felt horrible with each time Hermione's eyes filled up with pain as Malfoy passed by them, Pansy hanging on his arm, whispering things about her in his ear. Pansy hadn't said much to him since she'd gotten Draco back- and even though their evil plan was still taking effect, he wished he'd never gotten into the mess he was in. The diary- a fake little book of lies Pansy had written one night with his help- all out of desperation to get what they wanted. All out of greed.   
  
***  
  
Draco turned the diary over in his hands one night, sitting alone in the common room. "Malfoy." He looked up and saw Millicent Bulstrode standing there, looking nervous. "Yeah?"  
  
"There's something I have to tell you."  
  
"What?"  
  
Millicent sat down beside him, taking a deep breath.  
  
"It's about that diary."  
  
Draco looked down at it and back at her. "What about it?  
  
"It isn't real."  
  
"What?!"  
  
Millicent shook her head. "Pansy wrote it." She swallowed. "With help from...someone else."  
  
"You?!"  
  
"No, not me. No."  
  
"But YOU were the one who gave it to me!"  
  
"Pansy told me to!"  
  
"Must you do everything that bitch tells you? It'll only lead you no where!"  
  
"Let me finish!"  
  
Draco's eyes were filled with anger, and he clenched the book in his hands. Millicent continued.  
  
"Pansy didn't do it alone."  
  
"Who helped her?"  
  
She took a breath, and steadied herself.  
  
"Harry Potter."  
  
***  
  
Draco stormed down the hallway, searching for Hermione. He felt horrible for what he'd said to her- his mind racing with what she was probably feeling. He found her, walking arm-in-arm with no one but the one and only Harry Potter. Draco ran towards her, grabbing her shoulder. "Hermione, wait." He said as she turned to face him. "I'm sorry," he said, out of breath. "I'm so sorry." Hermione glared at him, remembering what he'd said. "Don't you think you've said enough, Malfoy?" She said, using his last name rather then his first. She wanted him to feel the pain he'd made her feel since she'd met him. He stood, speechless. "Don't have anything else much to say, eh? Well, nothing to a filthy mudblood like me, at least, huh?" "Hermione, listen, please," he said, grabbing her arm as she turned to walk away. Harry pushed his hand away, stepping in front of Hermione. "Harry." Hermione said softly, trying to make him back off.   
  
"Leave her alone, Malfoy." Harry growled, glaring at him. Malfoy glanced at Hermione, seeing the anger in her eyes. He threw his cloak to the side and pushed up his sweater sleeves, holding his hands out, ready to fight. Harry shoved his own cloak at Hermione, and she took a step back to balance herself. "Harry, Malfoy, no." She said, trying not to raise her voice. "Bet it hurts, doesn't it?" Harry said softly so only Draco could hear him. "Seeing the girl you want with your enemy. But, I don't blame you. I mean, your girl killed herself, so I figured you'd come after mine." Draco swung at Harry, hitting him in the jaw and sending him to the floor. "Harry!" Hermione yelled, glaring at Draco. Harry quickly got up, putting his hands out again. "That all you got? Come on, you'd think you'd fight for what you want a little more- but you obviously didn't fight for Felicity-" Draco punched him again, in the stomach, Harry's breath catching in his throat, his hands holding his stomach as he fell to the floor. People gathered around them, chanting "Fight! Fight!" Some rooted them on, Slytherins hollaring at Draco. "Kick his Scar-Face ass!" One yelled. Harry got back up again, sucking in air. This time, he didn't mouth off, he just went to punch Draco, but Draco grabbed his hand, pulling it down and kneeing him in the stomach.  
  
Hermione was standing outside the ring of people, watching in horror. Harry got up, and took a quick swing at Draco, nailing his jaw. Draco stumbled but remained standing, looking at Harry. His lip was bleeding, and he looked inches from passing out, so Draco waited until he walked closer to him to act. But Harry was too quick, tackling him down and wrapping his bony fingers around Draco's neck. "Harry! GET OFF OF HIM!" Hermione shrieked, pushing through the crowd towards them. Harry pushed her aside, turning back to Draco. Hermione kicked Harry hard in the side, causing him to fall over, letting go of Draco. Hermione crawled to Draco's side, taking his head in her lap. Draco pushed her hands away and sat up, looking over at Harry. "You wrote that diary, huh?" Draco said, standing up and looking down at him. "You wanted her so bad that you would do anything, eh?" Draco kicked him, causing Harry to wince in pain. "What the FUCK were you thinking, Potter?" Draco growled, kicking him again. "What did you think you were playing at?!?" Draco kicked him hard one more time before Hermione pushed him away.   
  
A professor pushed through the crowd, taking Draco by the end of his ear. "Granger, help Potter to the hospital wing." The professor looked back at Draco, who was wincing every time she pulled on his ear. "And you, young man, will come with me." Draco gave Hermione a pained look as the professor tugged him down the hallway and out of sight. Hermione waited for Harry to get up on his own, glaring at him. "You wrote that diary?" She said once he was standing. "You wrote it, just to get me away from Draco?!?" Hermione was fuming. "You thought that if Draco hated me, you would get me and that would be that?!?" Hermione kicked him hard in the groin, sending him falling to the floor again. "How fucking selfish can a person be?" She paused. "Jealousy will get you no where."  
  
~*~  
  
Did you like it? I promised another chapter- so there it is. Alrighty so now the truth is out- what will happen with Dra. and Her.?  
  
You'll find out in the next chappie, which I will add tomorrow.  
  
sara  
  
PS: FYI-there's more twists to come ;) ::wink wink:: 


	12. Why?

Hermione found Draco in the detention hall that night, sitting alone and slumped over a table, looking drowsy and bored. She slipped inside, careful not to awaken the professor that sat beside the door, asleep in his chair. "Draco." Hermione was standing beside him, tears in her eyes. "Hermione." Draco said quickly, standing up. "The diary- I'm sorry- Potter- he wrote it-" Hermione pulled him into a soft kiss, catching him by surprise. "Just shut up." Hermione whispered as they withdrew, smiling.  
  
***  
  
Pansy watched Draco and Hermione as they met up at the end of Transfiguration, awkwardly and nervously taking each other's hand, Hermione blushing. Pansy snorted. 'Look what he's lowered himself to,' she thought. 'A filthy Gryffindor mudblood.' Pansy was sickened that any Slytherin, especially Malfoy, would show any public affection towards a Gryffindor or a mudblood for that matter.   
  
A few other nasty Slytherin girls walked up beside her, their arms folded across their chests. Their sweaters were unbuttoned on the top, their ties hanging loosely- all of them looking like private-school whores. "It's disGUSTING." One said, her blonde hair falling around her shoulders. "Totally." Another echoed. "What are you gonna do about it, Pans?" The blonde one asked, glaring at Hermione. Pansy leaned against the wall, crossing her arms across her chest. She smiled to herself. "Oh, he'll pay for this. Him and that little bitch. They'll both see." She paused, ignoring their curiosity, talking more to herself. "In time."  
  
***  
  
Draco had been trying his hardest all day to ignore the staring and whispering as people stood in shock watching him- Draco Malfoy- holding hands with her-Hermione Granger, the Gryffindor mudblood- in the hallways. But he just sighed as he dropped his books down on the table in front of him, waiting for class to begin. Everyone was staring at him, whispering and pointing. Draco sat back in his chair, acting like he didn't even notice they were there. Pansy walked in, followed by a slutty-looking group of Slytherin girls. He recognized a few of them, watching as they tossed their cloaks on the table in front of them, crossing their legs, their short skirts riding up and showing a little more leg then necessary.   
  
Pansy plopped down in the circle of them, whispering. All of them were huddled close together, leaning over their chairs, their skirts continuing to go higher and higher up their legs....  
  
Snape walked into the room, and the girls turned around and faced the front of the room. Draco just sat, looking bored. "Girls," Snape said, stopping by their table. "I will ask you to please limit exposing yourself until you are out of this class, thank you." The girls shot him dirty looks and uncrossed their legs, tugging on their skirts. Draco wondered why the skirts were such a big deal. He looked over at them, lust building up in him. The blonde one- her name was Lilia- was twisting a piece of her blonde hair around her finger, gum smacking between her teeth. He remembered the night he'd spent with her- the night they'd gotten drunk one summer when his parents were out of town. Pansy was passed out on the couch and Draco and Lilia retreated to his bedroom. The rest was a blur, but obvious, remembering waking up beside her. She winked at him, letting her hair fall back onto her shoulder. Draco looked away, thinking about how mad Hermione would be if she'd seen that. But she was sitting quietly beside him, not talking.   
  
Draco's eyes and mind wandered about the room, before reaching their spot on the girls again. Lilia was still staring at him, twisting her hair again. She crossed her legs again and leaned forward a bit, her cleavage popping out at him. He pulled his eyes away, trying to think about only Hermione.   
  
Only the Gryffindor mudblood he was now dating- rather then the sexy Slytherin who kept checking him out. Draco's mind was racing. 'What the hell am I doing?' He thought to himself, before standing up and walking out of the room, ignoring Snape's calls to come back.   
  
***  
  
The common room was quiet- shadows twisting on the walls. Draco sat alone, trying to sort things out. Was he really dating a mudblood? Was he really in love with this girl? Pansy entered the room, taking her usual seat beside him on the sofa, reaching for him. Back to familiar battle zones, Draco felt her hand slip around him, and up around his neck. "I know you don't really love Granger, now, do you?" Draco kept quiet, looking away from her. "Go away, Pans." He mumbled. She shook her head. "I want you to know that no matter what- I will always want you." Pansy stood up. "And until you want me back- I'll be waiting." She turned on her heels and walked slowly towards the girls' dormitory, voluntarily swinging her hips.  
  
Draco sighed. Pansy wasn't the girl for him. She'd decieved him too much. Hermione wasn't the girl for him either- she was just too....Hermione. He thought of her smile- and the way her eyes lit up. "Sorry, Granger." Draco said to the empty room, before reaching over and grabbing a piece of parchment from the table beside him and a quill and ink.  
  
***  
  
Tear drops fell onto the piece of parchment Hermione held in her hand, her hand trembling. What was going on?  
  
"Hermione-  
  
I'm sorry- this makes no sense to me either. But I just can't see anything right going between us. All I see is questions that need answers- and the only answer to them is to let 'us' go. I am so sorry- please, carry on like this never happened. Please have it in your heart to forgive me.  
  
-Draco"  
  
Hermione fell against the wall, the piece of parchment falling from her hand. How could she have actually believed in something that was too good to be true? How could she have actually believed that Draco Malfoy could love someone like her- a dorky little mudblood? Her heart had been in his hands, and he'd just dropped it on the floor and stomped on it. Why had he fought for her? Why had he shown so much love and respect to her before? Hermione thought about what he said in the note- "This makes no sense to me either". Then why did he do it?  
  
***  
  
"You bastard!" Hermione threw a book across the room, and Draco ducked down. "You can't just walk into people's lives and screw it all up like this!" Hermione chucked an empty ink canister at him, and it hit the wall, shattering on the floor. "Hermione- calm down!" "Don't tell me what to do!" Hermione screamed, glaring at him. "You're just an egotistical, back-stabbing jerkoff!" "Hermione, just hear me out!" Hermione clenched her fists and tried to steady her breathing, glaring at him as he took a few steps closer to her. "I just don't see it working out between us." "Why?!" "Well, because....you're....you.....and I'm...well....me...." "Well," Hermione snorted. "Captain Obvious. I thought this was different." "It was." "Then what changed?" Hermione retorted, folding her arms across her chest. Draco stood in silence, not knowing what to say. Hermione sunk into a chair, waiting for him to answer. A thought came across her mind.  
  
"Did you forget what Felicity taught you?" She said, unfolding her arms slowly and looking at him with tears in her eyes. "She taught you never to judge someone you don't know. Don't you remember?" Draco took a few more steps closer to her, now feeling guilty. "I remember." "Then I'll ask you again," Hermione said, her expression never changing. "Why?" Draco looked into her pained eyes and shook his head. "I don't know." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry. I just can't." Draco walked out the door of the empty classroom, feeling horribly guilty and alone.  
  
~*~  
  
Well- that was kind of....well.....weird. I must say.  
  
It was kind of one of those inbetweenie chappies that i put in there that was really fast paced and throws a lot at you at once. The next one will have some action in it, and i think you guys will like it. I'll update as soon as I can.  
  
sara 


	13. Going Under

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
  
Okay, i apologize for the looooooong delay- but this weekend and this past week have been crazy. today is mybday- last night was the party, friday was halloween and all this past week i have neglected the computer...my sincerest apologies!!  
  
So anyway- this chapter is a song- but only this chapter. it is to Evanescence-Going Under so it'll be pretty cool....  
  
sara  
  
***  
  
**Now I will tell you what I've done for you....  
  
50 thousand tears I've cried.  
  
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you....  
  
And you still won't hear me.**  
  
The darkness of the room engulfed Hermione as she cried, sobbing into her sleeves. A small noise came from behind her, and she whirled around, her red eyes meeting the harsh black ones of Pansy Parkinson. Hermione swallowed. "Well, lookie what we've got here." Pansy whispered, a cruel smile coming across her face. "Aww," Pansy continued, leaning against the wall. "Poor Granger." She stuck out her bottom lip, pretending to cry. "Draco's left you for something better and hotter, huh?" "Leave me alone, Pansy." Hermione said, glaring at her. Pansy's face twisted back into another cruel sick smile. "I bet I know what you're thinking," she said, taking a step towards Hermione. "You're thinking HE didn't know what he was thinking. You're thinking in the morning he'll apologize and everything will be okay." Pansy shook her head. "I've got news for you, hunnie," she said, getting closer to her. "Things don't work like that." Something shined from Pansy's hand, reflecting in the glinting candlelight. The blade met Hermione's throat, and Pansy stepped behind her. Hermione's breathing was fast and trembling. "Who's gonna save you now, Granger?"   
  
**Don't want your hand this time....  
  
I'll save myself.  
  
Maybe I'll wake up for once...  
  
Not tormented, daily defeated by you.  
  
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom-  
  
I'm dying again.**  
  
Pansy looked at the reflection of Hermione's terrified expression in the blade. "Maybe once you're gone- he'll realize what he should have realized in the first place. Pansy slowly slid the blade gently across Hermione's skin, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. "He'll realize I'm the only one who'll ever love him. Maybe he'll see the reason Felicity had to die." "Had to?" Hermione choked. "The girl was practically screaming, 'Kill me, kill me'." Hermione swallowed. "You killed Felicity?" Pansy let out a laugh and released her grip off of Hermione, tucking the blade away in her robes. She walked in front of her, pulling out her wand. "Well, did you honestly think she killed HERSELF?" Pansy snapped at her, her evil laugh fading away into her anger. Hermione dove inside her robes, searching for her wand. Pansy raised her own wand at her. "You won't win this Granger. Don't even try."  
  
**I'm going under....  
  
Drowning in you.  
  
I'm falling forever...  
  
I've got to break through.**  
  
"I've left a message for Draco to meet us later for a little...meeting." Pansy let out another small laugh, before poting her wand at Hermione. "Time to go." She whispered a spell and Hermione rose from the chair and glided over to her, paralyzed. Hermione's vision went black- her mind faded away.... "Please, no!"She heard a voice say as she blacked out. "Don't let her hurt him!" 'Felicity?' Hermione thought, just as her mind shut down...  
  
**Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies...  
  
So I don't know what's real and what's not.  
  
Always confusing the thoughts in my head....  
  
So I can't trust myself anymore.  
  
I'm dying again.....**  
  
Hermione awoke, shivering. Stone walls were echoing silence, and she heard a faint whispering off somewhere in the distance. "Hermione!" She heard Draco's voice say, but she was trapped inside her mind again, fading away again. She tried to call out to him, but her mind was closing her in. "Thee's nothing you can do, Draco," Pansy's harsh voice snapped at him. "No one will ever love you like I do!" Pansy aimed her wand at Hermione, tears bleeding from her eyes. "Pansy don't you fucking dare!" Draco yelled, his voice echoing off the walls. There was a crash as he tackled her down, followed by a scream. Hermione awoke with a start, and she was shakign with fear. She sat up, and saw Draco, laying on the ground, standing over a lifeless Pansy. His face was twisted in horror, and she sat, frozen in fear. Draco fell to his knees beside Pansy, pulling away her cloak. The blade had driven into her heart, blood seeping from the wound, pooling beneath her. "Draco...." Hermione tried to stand up, but fell back down, her head hitting the concrete floor with a smack- putting her unconcious.  
  
**So go on and scream....  
  
Scream at me, I'm so far away.  
  
I won't be broken again...  
  
I've got to breathe, I can't keep going under....**  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
wow- so...  
  
pansy killed Felicity, tried to kill hermione, but ended up dead herself in the end. I promise to update sooner this time, especially since this chapter was really short. If you haven't heard the song I used for this chapter, you HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT! once again it was Evanescence- Going Under  
  
reviews!! tell me what ya thought!!  
  
sara 


	14. Don't Forget

Draco's eyes snapped open and darted around the room. He was in his bed, back in his house, the still of the night seeping into his veins. Where was Pansy? Hermione? How did he end up here? Draco sat up, noticing he was in his boxers- his usual sleeping apparel. What was going on? He walked over to his mirror, and looked at himself. His face looked different- younger. It looked the same as it had before sixth year.....Draco ran to his calendar. "What the...." Sixth year hadn't even started yet. Draco ran his fingers through his hair.  
  
Had it really all been....  
  
just a dream?  
  
***  
  
Felicity Dawson stared at Draco Malfoy from across the alley. His perfect blue eyes- his smile. Pansy Parkinson was hooked to his side, clutching his arm. For some reason she felt as though she'd known him somewhere before, like they'd met sometime before. But she shook her thoughts away as her friends pushed her down the alley, towards the book shop. Felicity glanced over her shoulder at Draco, and their eyes met. His blue eyes flashed...  
  
and her veins ran cold.   
  
***  
  
**You don't remember me, But I remember you.  
  
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you.  
  
But who can decide what they dream?  
  
And dream I do....  
  
*  
  
I believe in you,  
  
I'll give up everything just to find you.  
  
I have to be with you to live, to breathe....  
  
You're taking over me.  
  
*  
  
Have you forgotten all I know,  
  
and all we had?  
  
You saw mw mourning my love for you,  
  
and touched my hand. I knew you loved me then.  
  
*  
  
I believe in you,  
  
I'll give up everything just to find you.  
  
I have to be with you to live, to breathe....  
  
You're taking over me.  
  
*  
  
I look into the mirror and see your face...  
  
If I look deep enough.  
  
So many things inside that are  
  
just like you are taking over me......  
  
THE END  
  
~*~  
  
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG even i am freaking out!! my first finished fan fic!!  
  
i want mega reviews. should I make a sequel? what happened next?   
  
I loved it, not to blow my own horn but errr toot toot hahaha  
  
please tell me what you thought!!  
  
love you all, thanks for reading!!  
  
sara  
  
PS: the final song on here was evanescence-Taking over me just if you wanted to know... 


	15. Do I Know You?

***Perfect by nature,   
  
icons of self indulgence.  
  
Just what we all need-  
  
more lies about a world  
  
that never was and never will be,  
  
Have you no shame,  
  
don't you see me?  
  
You know you've got everybody fooled....***  
  
The two pairs of blue eyes met- flashing. She saw through him- looked inside him. His heart was broken, scared like he'd been through too much to tell. Sorrow was drawn over his mind, like memories that once existed but were now lost. His gaze was filled with confusion, like he had a past of unanswered questions.   
  
Felicity Dawson walked over to him. "Why do I feel like I know you?" She asked him, tucking her hair behind her ear.   
  
Draco Malfoy wanted so much to pull her into his arms, breathe in her scent. He'd loved her, lost her, and then....woke up. How could he be sure she was the same girl from his dreams?  
  
"I don't know." He said in his usual *I'm-a-Malfoy-and-I-don't-give-a-damn* tone of voice. Deep inside, he pained for her. "Maybe we've met somewhere before."  
  
She looked at him questionally. "I'm Felicity Dawson." 'I know.' Draco thought, still paining to hold her.   
  
"I'm Draco-" "Malfoy. You're in Slytherin too, that's where I've seen you."  
  
It was just like in the dream.  
  
"Aren't you with that girl Pansy Parkinson?"  
  
Draco looked over at Pansy, who was glaring at him. He looked back over at Felicity, a sly grin on his face.  
  
"No."  
  
~*~  
  
Ha......ha......ha......  
  
And so it begins..... 


	16. Memories From A Dream

A/N: ______= journal entries  
  
***  
  
Draco touched his cheek, his skin tingling from where he'd just been hit. People were staring at him, and he could still hear Pansy's faint whimpers as she ran off down the hallway. She'd caught him kissing Felicity Dawson. "You were having a fucking SNOG FEST with that bitch!" Pansy had screamed only seconds before hitting him sqaure across the face and running off. Felicity came around the corner, biting her lip. "I'm sorry..." she said. Her expression suddenly changed when his eyes met hers. "You told me you weren't with her anymore..." Draco stood in silence. This wasn't what had happened in the dream. If this was like his dream, she'd be in his arms right then. "How could you lie about something like that, Draco?!" Felicity slapped him hard across the other cheek, and he heard a few "Ooh's" from the other people in the hallway. 'Just like me to screw everything up.' Draco thought, walking down the hallway to the boys' lavitory. 'Just like me.'  
  
***  
  
Felicity fell against the wall in the girls' bathroom, wiping away her tears. She heard a faint whimper coming from around the circle of sinks in the middle of the room, and walked cautiously around them. Pansy Parkinson was sitting there, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "Pansy." Pansy looked up and glared at her.   
  
"This is all YOUR fault."   
  
"He told me he wasn't seeing you anymore!"   
  
Pansy's face changed right then. "He-he did?"   
  
Felicity nodded. She sat down beside her, handing her a tissue.   
  
"Thanks."   
  
"Seems this Draco thinks he can get away with shit like this," Felicity said, wiping the stream of eyeliner from her cheek.  
  
"We need to show him up for this."   
  
Pansy sniffed and nodded. She had the strangest feeling she'd met Felicity somewhere before, butshe couldn't have- Felicity was new to Hogwarts this year- from Durmstrang. Felicity stood up, zipping open her purse.  
  
"Ah, cheer up, Pans," Felicity said, pulling out her eyeliner and refreshing her smeared make-up. "Ass-holes like him will pay the price one day."  
  
Pansy stood up beside her. "Maybe that day will come sooner then later for him."  
  
The two girls smiled slyly at each other, a softness to their gaze.  
  
***  
  
How the fuck is this happening? This isn't the way it was supposed to happen. But do I really want it to happen the way it did in my dreams? Ending in heartbreak and...death? How the hell am I to make up my mind when the path I'm going now is no better then the path I'd rather be going. Why the hell must I be so difficult?!  
  
Draco slammed the little black leather bound book in his hands closed, dropping his quill to the floor. He sat with his knees up towards his chest, his sleeves pushed up and a upset expression on his face. All he wanted was Felicity. But now, she was the one thing he couldn't have.  
  
***  
  
His eyes- they remind me of something, something from a dream. It's like I've known him somewhere before, and it churns my insides every time I see him, those eyes piercing me. I have these weird flashes of memories in my mind when I look into his eyes- us, kissing on a tabletop, or us thrashing around the bedsheets....It scares me- where are these thoughts coming from?  
  
Felicity tapped her quill on the tabletop, biting her lip. The common room door flew open, and Draco walked inside, dropping his books on a nearby table, not noticing Felicity sitting there. He looked up finally, his breath catching in his throat. He swallowed, not knowing what to say or do. "We should talk..." Felicity said softly, standing up. She gestured towards the black leather couch, and Draco sat slowly down beside her, memories coming into his mind.   
  
Felicity's mind flashed, too, the same thoughts catching as glimpses in her mind. Her mind echoed her own voice whispering "I love you" through heaving breaths. She shook her head, chasing her thoughts away. "There's something you need to know." Draco said, swallowing again. "The reason I told you I wasn't with Pansy anymore was because...because....I had a feeling about you....like...a memory....what have you...."   
  
Felicity's insides shuddered.   
  
"Like....from a dream?"   
  
~*~  
  
AhHhH....what's this? Did Felicity have the same dream, but forget it until now?!?  
  
Ever have that thing where you dream something you wanna tell, but forget it? Yeeeeeah....  
  
The next chapters will blow you away...  
  
Haha, I can't get over how I made you think it was over...hehehe...  
  
more 2 come!  
  
sara 


	17. What's Real Anymore?

A/N: ______= journal entries  
  
((_____)) = 'flashes'  
  
***  
  
It's really starting to scare me- all of these...'flashes'. They're getting clearer now. Everytime those endless grey eyes meet mine I see them. The newest one is of us kissing in the hallway. He was smiling, and so was I. This one keeps happening, and I keep seeing this girl in the background, glaring at us. I can't quite make out who it is yet, but I am not as interested in that as I am in finding out what the hell is going on.  
  
Felicity closed the little rose coloured book and dropped it into her bag, picking it up as the bell rang. Her thoughts on nothing but Draco, she was lost in her own world as she walked down the hallway, blindly walking to potions. She ran into someone, and dropped her things. "Shit..." She whispered to herself, bending down to pick them up. "Here, lemme help." Draco Malfoy kneeled down beside her, gathering up the things that had spilled from her bag. "Oh....thanks..." Felicity said, shoving her things back into her bag, standing up, tucking her hair behind her ear nervously. Their eyes met, but they both looked quickly away. Felicity twisted her hair around her finger, and Draco ran his fingers through his hair, shoving his other hand in his pocket. "Um...I'll...I'll see you later then...." Felicity stuttered, flashes flooding her mind.   
  
(("You know this is a big decision." "Yeah." Draco looked into her eyes, feeling himself drowning in them. "We both need to be comfortable with it- and have no regrets about it." He nodded. "Are you willing to promise me something?" "Anything." Felicity swallowed. "Promise me you love me." Draco continued to gaze into her eyes, seeing his own reflection staring back at him. "I promise." Felicity gave him a soft smile, before leaning in, slipping her hand gently around the back of his neck and kissing him. She withdrew and smiled again. "I love you." He smiled back at her, his hand gently stroking her leg. "I love you, too."))  
  
Felicity shook her head, rubbing at her temples. "I gotta go.." She took off down the hallway, trying her hardest not to meet his eyes.  
  
***  
  
Draco looked down, feeling embarrassed. It was almost ironic- he'd been thinking about Felicity when he suddenly happened to bump into her. Suddenly, he took a double take at the ground. A little rose coloured book was laying there, gold cursive print on the front reading "Diary". He picked it up, flipping open the cover. Felicity had written her name in her bubbly handwriting on the inside cover.  
  
***  
  
Draco turned the small book over in his hands, hesitating. How could he be sure? The last time this happened it had been all part of Pansy's plan to get closer to him. Reluctantly, he opened the book, flipping open to a recent date....  
  
I just don't get it. His eyes- how the hell can they have such a bloody impact on me? Everytime I look into them, or even happen to glance over and meet his stare- I feel so many things at once I almost can't take it. Those little flashes keep getting stronger. Recently I saw one that really scared me. I was looking up at him, and he was crying. The room was really quiet and dim, and people were filling it, all of them crying and holding each other. Draco bent down and kissed me, before walking hurriedly away. Then that Granger girl came up, crying too. I heard her say, "I'm sorry, Felicity. I promise to take care of him for you." Before this one, I'd been having other ones like it, but in a different place. It looked alot like the hospital wing, and Draco was there, holding my hand, sometimes crying. Yesterday I had a flash of Granger blabbing on about jealousy. Why I didn't say anything I don't know. I haven't seen myself in them lately, and I am really getting confused on what they are trying to tell me...I am wondering about Marissa. Does this have to do with her? All this thinking of her is driving me insane. I'm falling again, slipping back to square one. I wish it would all just go away. If none of this is real, then why do I want him so much?  
  
Draco slapped the book closed, tucking it inside his robes. He ran out of the common room, searching for Felicity.  
  
***  
  
Felicity rubbed at her temples, ignoring Professor Snape's droning voice. She was having another memory flash- and what scared her was that Draco was no where in sight.  
  
((Pansy aimed her wand at Felicity, tossing her a small vile. "Drink it." "Pansy, please, let's talk about this," Felicity said in a tear-shaken voice. "I said drink it!" Pansy yelled, anger in her voice. Felicity cried as she removed the top from the vile, putting it to her lips and downing it contents. Pansy stared smugly at her as she went pale, her eyes rolling back in her eyes. They closed and she fell onto the bed, the vile still in her hand.))  
  
Felicity suddenly fell off her chair, collapsing on the floor. The class was staring at her as she lay unconscious, lost in the memories that didn't even exist.  
  
Or did they?  
  
~*~  
  
Whoa so let's give you the highlights if you're lost (which most of you prolly are...)  
  
-Felicity's little 'flashes' (as i call them) are getting stronger  
  
-Draco finds her diary, and, of course, reads it, finding out about the little flash things  
  
-Felicity has a 'flash' of when pansy killed her, as well as her funeral and when she was in her little coma thing.  
  
-Also, we find out that Marissa is real...  
  
-I added 'Or did they?' in the end to give you hints on what is happening here. What is this about all this dreaming?   
  
The next chapter reveals so much- so pay attention to every little detail!!  
  
much love to all my reviewers, i'll give you special shoutoutz in one of the next chapters...  
  
sara 


	18. I Thought I Was The Only One

A/N: ______= journal entries  
  
((_____)) = 'flashes'  
  
***  
  
Hours passed before Felicity emerged from the hospital wing, her temples still throbbing. She walked up to the common room, whispering the password and walking inside. Draco was sitting on the black leather sofa, staring at a rose coloured book in his hand. Felicity's mouth dropped open and she dashed over to Draco, who still hadn't noticed he wasn't alone. She snatched the book away from him, glaring at him. "How did you get this?!" Draco looked up, startled. "You dropped it in the hall....:" "You read it didn't you?!?" Felicity clutched the book in her hands. "I..well..." "YOU DID!" She was swallowing back her anger. She felt like her mind had just been invaded. "Well," she snapped. "What kind of things did you find out about me?" There was an awkward pause. "I know about the things you see in your head." Felicity swallowed. Draco looked up at her. "I know what it is." Felicity sank down onto the sofa next to him. "I dreamed about you- everything you mentioned was in my dream. We were...together. But then you killed yourself...but really it was-" "Pansy..." Draco nodded. "And then...right before Pansy...died...I woke up." "Woke up?" He nodded again. "It was all just a dream." "Just a dream?" Felicity stared at him. He stared back, confused. "What else could it have been?" Felicity swallowed. "Draco...." Her mind suddenly flashed. Everything was playing in her head all at once, the images flashing like a moive. It suddenly slowed down- playing a scene with great detail. The girl. The glare. The kiss. Hermione. "It's Granger." Felicity whispered. "Hermione..." "What?" Draco said, confused. "What's going on?" Felicity jumped up. "I've gotta find Granger...."  
  
***  
  
"Hermione!" Hermione whirled around, her name echoing off the stone wall. She saw Felicity Dawson running towards her. She stopped right near her, taking deep breaths. "We have to talk." Hermione was confused. "About what?" "About....the dream." Hermione swallowed.   
  
***  
  
"I feel it- I saw it. I saw you, lying there on the floor. She was going to kill you. We can't let it happen." Felicity stared into Hermione's eyes, noticing the fear in them. "I never thought anyone else had the same thoughts." She said softly. "It was driving me insane." "I just don't get it," Felicity said, standing up and pacing back and forth slowly. "If Draco was the one who had the dream, then how are we the ones having the visions from it?" Hermione's eyes got wide. "Pansy." "What?" "We have to find out if Pansy sees them too. She plays a huge part in this- and if we're ever going to prevent this then we better start now." "How can we be sure that we can trust her?" "We can't. We're just gonna hafta take chances." "Risk isn't something we should be toying with in this situation, Hermione." Hermione considered this. "I guess we'll just have to push possiblity aside for a while, Felicity. We have to know. There's no getting around it, we HAVE to find out." Felicity nodded. This meant there was only one thing left to do.   
  
***  
  
"She might lie." "Simple solution. I mixed a truth potion into these." Felicity showed Draco a plate of cookies, a smug look on her face. "We'll get her to spill, no doubt."   
  
~*~  
  
Utterly short. But I already added a chappie today so dont hassle me :-0   
  
The next one will be betta, dun worry. ;)  
  
But it gets kind of well homicidal so if youre afraid of the dark STOP READING NOW *looks suspiciously around room*  
  
lol thanks again to all my reviewers!!  
  
sara 


	19. I'll Make Them Pay

A/N: ______= journal entries  
  
((_____)) = 'flashes'  
  
***  
  
Pansy timidly bit at her cookie, her elbows rested on the table. Felicity began to see the look in Pansy's eyes become duller and duller, and she smiled inside herself. She decided to test it, and thought of sort of a practice question. "Do you have feelings for Draco?" Pansy nodded. "I've loved him ever since I can remember!" Felicity swallowed. "Do you know about the dream?" Pansy nodded again, laughing this time. "Dream? You still believe it to be a dream? Oh, no, it was all real." "Real? But how..." "How are you still here then? I read up on some charms over the summer after it all went down- memory charms that make it seem like nothing ever happened. All I did was turn back time with a wave of my wand, put a memory potion into every bit of food that was served at one of the meals.....everything worked. No one even remembered anything." "So all this time....it's been real?" Pansy nodded once more, taking another bite of her cookie. "The whole time."  
  
***  
  
"Draco!" Felicity fell into his arms, sobbing. "It was all real! She...she..." Felicity looked up, wiping away her tears. "It doesn't matter now. All that matters is I love you." She pulled him close, kissing him. He was so stunned, he stood in shock when she pulled away. "Everything- it was all real. It was no dream. She put a memory charm on everyone and turned back time to make them all forget it! Her plan didn't work out and it all backfired! Right before she died, she said a charm to turn it all back- that's why all the flashes stop there! That's why that's when you woke up! Because she made it so it never even happened!" "I...Felicity..." Draco pulled her into a strong embrace. "She's going to try and get you back, and she'll stop at nothing. We've got to stop her."  
  
***  
  
"How in the world....but wait- she was dying! She was dead! How could she- but- if SHE can turn back time and change things like this, why aren't millions of other wizards doing it?" "Well, You never know if they are- could YOU tell when she turned back time?" Hermione considered this. Felicity had come barrelling into the library, and pushed Hermione behind a book shelf, explaining what Pansy had told her. "I don't know what to think right now," Hermione said, falling into a chair. "This is all so screwed up." "I have no idea what we plan to do about this- but we've GOT to think of SOMETHING before she begins to take action." Hermione nodded. "But what?"  
  
***  
  
Pansy pulled a book from the library shelf, pushing it open and leafing through the pages. It was around 10:15pm, and everyone else had gone up to their common rooms. The library was now lit by only the torches on the walls, casting shadows on the dark walls. She found a page and skimmed her finger down it, furrowing her brow in concentration. Her finger stopped in the middle of the page, and a cruel smile came across her face. "Oh yes," she said softly, closing the book and tucking it under her arm. "You all will pay."  
  
***  
  
My plan is unfolding- and each day brings me one step closer to taking action on it. They are beginning to catch on a bit, but as far as I know, they've got no idea what's coming.  
  
Pansy closed her little green notebook, the same cruel sick smile twisting across her face once more. She would make them pay- anything to make them miserable would make her happy....in her eyes, they deserved it.  
  
~*~  
  
*steps out of the darkness* i have updated!  
  
Sorry about how short it is, it was another quickie....  
  
well, i promise to update sooner- mmmmkay?  
  
reviews!  
  
sara 


	20. I Chose You

A/N: ______= journal entries  
  
((_____)) = 'flashes'  
  
***  
  
"Pansy! What the hell is going on?!" Hermione exclaimed, glaring at Pansy. "What do you mean?" "Why did you tell Felicity about our plan?!" "I never told her anything- oh shit." "What?" "I KNEW those cookies were drugged- I KNEW it!" "But you still ate them! Shit, Pansy! Now they know!" "I don't remember what I told her. For all we know- they know nothing." "Oh, they know something. They know everything. Everything!" Pansy shook her head. "Not everything."   
  
***  
  
Felicity awoke, cold and shivering. She reached blindly down for her covers, but felt nothing except cold, hard ground. She sat bolt upright. The walls were chipping stone- little puddles of water reflecting on them. "Hello there, Miss Dawson."   
  
***  
  
"Felicity? Felicity!" Draco called, running up the girls' dormitory steps. She was no where in sight. "Have you seen Felicity?" He asked Millicent, who was reading quietly on her bed. Millicent shrugged and shook her head. Draco ran back down the stairs, fleeing from the common room. He ran down the stone stairs, his footsteps clattering in the silence. He reached the Gryffindor common room entrance, rapping on the portrait. "Eeeex-cuuuse me, sir," the fat lady said, looking down at him. "You need a password." Draco was getting frustrated. "I KNOW," he said, irritated. "Is there anyway I can at least deliver a message?" The Fat Lady looked at him suspiciously. "Why would a Sssslytherin like yourself have aaanything to say to a Grrrryffindor? Hm?" "Please." She rolled her eyes. "To whom is this message going to?" "Hermione Granger." She looked at him with wide eyes, but he glared at her and she nodded. "Tell her...tell her I've gone to find Felicity...and...tell her that....that Pansy and her need to meet me...later..." He didn't want to spill his guts to the gossipy Fat Lady in the portrait. But he had to make it hint something was wrong to Hermione. "Very well, Miiiiista Malfoy."  
  
***  
  
A dark figure emerged from the shadows. "P-p-rofessor S-snape?" Felicity pulled herself backwards on the ground, scooting away from him. "Don't be afraid now, Miss Dawson....I won't hurt you..." A sick smile came across his face. "Much."  
  
***  
  
(("No one will EVER love you like I do!" Pansy aimed her wand at Hermione, tears bleeding from her eyes. "Pansy don't you fucking dare!" Draco yelled, his voice echoing off the walls. There was a crash as he tackled her down, followed by a scream....))  
  
Draco fell against a wall, his hands flying to his throbbing temples. Felicity was close- he could feel her.  
  
He continued down the hallway, soft moans of pain escaping his lips. His vision was going blurry- then clear- blurry- then clear. He reached the dungeons and followed the passages past the classrooms, until he reached the large wooden door in front of him. He pulled it open, looking around.  
  
A sudden piercing scream echoed through the room.  
  
***  
  
Pansy pulled her wand from her robes, looking cautiously around the corner. She darted around it, creeping down the hall..towards the dungeons....  
  
***  
  
Felicity gasped in pain as Snape's hand came across her face, slapping her hard. "Stop it! Stop it- please!" Snape pushed her against a wall, ripping open her shirt. "I tried to make you see, Miss. Dawson. I tried to show you what it would be like without you- I showed them all. But they all had lost something, huh? They lost something so precious they couldn't stand not having you! I wanted to make you all see what I'd been through!" Snape pulled her skirt off and threw her down onto the floor. Felicity gasped out again in sheer pain. "You are so ungreatful for what you have! All of you! It was you and Mr. Malfoy that first caught my attention- mindlessly committing acts of what you called 'love'. But, no. In my eyes- you were only taking each other for granted." He got down on his hands and knees, very close to her face. "Which is why I chose you."   
  
***  
  
Draco ran into the room, stumbling over himself. He saw two shadows, one moving quickly back and forth- the other one on the floor beneath him- struggling and screaming. The two shadows took shape, and Draco called out to one of them. "Felicity!" Snape looked up. Felicity's face was blood streaked- her tears turning red as they fell down her cheeks. Snape had been violating her out of this world- hurting her. Hurting Felicity. Draco pulled out his wand. "Expeliarmus!" Snape flew across the room, banging smack into a wall and falling to the floor, unconcious. Felicity had sat up, but she fainted, laying limp on the floor.  
  
~*~  
  
Woo....  
  
Snape has some 'slpainin to do...  
  
So...whats this with snape anyway?  
  
more will be revealed....  
  
sara. 


	21. 50 Thousand Tears

A/N: ______= journal entries  
  
((_____)) = 'flashes'  
  
***  
  
"Felicity!" Draco yelled again, stumbling over to her. He dropped down on his knees beside her, putting his hand under her head. "F-Felicity..." He breathed. Snape moaned a little bit from where he lay across the room, shuffling. Draco ignored him, staring down at Felicity. He tapped her cheek, whispering her name. Her eyes opened slowly, darting around the room. "Draco! Snape- he-" "Shh...." Draco said, pulling her up into his arms.   
  
A figured was suddenly hovering above them, and they looked up. Snape stood there, a cut on his face, anger in his eyes. Felicity clutched Draco closer, terrified. Draco stood up, along with Felicity, gently pushing her off of him, whispering at her to get out. "There is NO escaping." Snape whispered a charm under his breath and Felicity gasped as the door locked with a loud click. Felicity, shivering beneath Draco's cloak he'd draped on her, backed into a corner. Draco pushed up his sleeves, whipping out his wand. Snape dove into his robes for his, but realized it had dropped out in his fall and lay on the floor across the room. Draco aimed his wand at Snape, glaring at him. He wanted to know so many things, but mainly- why?  
  
"Talk."  
  
***  
  
Pansy pointed her wand at the locked door, whispering a charm. It clicked, and she pushed it open. Snape was standing there- in front of Draco, who's wand was aimed right at him. Felicity was in a corner, shivering, fear in her pretty eyes. "Pansy- what have you done?!" "Me?!" "YES- YOU!" "It wasn't MY plan that got us here! It was you!" Pansy looked back over at Felicity, still shivering, tears running down her cheeks. "Snape- you've lost it! How could I let you pull me into this!?" Pansy yelled back at him. Draco was looking back and forth between the two, confused. "You've told him everything, I suppose. Everything except the truth." "The truth?" Draco said questionally. "He told me he wanted to hurt us to make us see what it's like to lose someone- to make us suffer like he did." Pansy shook her head. "That's not what happened." Draco slowly dropped his hand, looking over at Pansy. "What is going on?" "Snape came to me- a few months ago- proposing a deal. He promised me smooth sailing in school until I was finished- only if I helped him with his little plan. So, me, being the one in need of a little boost in the academic department, agreed. Little did I know, the plan would end up going horribly wrong and ending up with me dead. So, naturally, he charmed it all back, made it all seem like nothing happened." "But you told Felicity that YOU were responsible." "That was Snape's doing as well. He knew you would beocme suspicious." "So everything before was real?" "Yeah, it was. But Snape decided to go and turn it all around and screw everything up for you. " "I just don't understand- all this time- it was reality- but....enforced reality?" Pansy nodded. "Snape here was monitoring it all- making things happen." "M-monitoring?" Pansy nodded again. "Everything." Snape glared at Draco. "I saw it all. I heard it all. All the screams- all the heavy breathing. Ringing a bell, Mr. Malfoy?" Draco blushed slightly but glared back at him. He raised his wand once more. "Draco- don't." Felicity's quivering voice said from the corner. "Please...." They all looked over at her. "How can you not want him dead? After all he's done?" "If he hadn't turned it all back I would still be dead and you would still be suffering." "Suffering more then I am right now watching YOU suffer?!" Felicity fell silent again, and Draco turned back to Snape. "I could kill you right now if I wanted to." "Let's work something out, please." "Like what?" Draco said dangerously. "We never speak of this again- I make everything better- I...." "You quit." "Quit what?" "You quit your job at Hogwarts. AFTER you turn yourself in to Dumbledore." Snape swallowed...but nodded.  
  
***  
  
Felicity and Draco walked hand-in-hand down the hallway, smiling at fellow students that passed them by. It had been three months since their terrifying ordeal had ended, and they were finally back to a normal life. They stopped in front of a classroom, and turned towards each other, Their hands clasped together, they kissed. "I'll see you." Felicity said, embracing him and walking into the classroom. Draco continued down the hallway, meeting up with Crabbe and Goyle.  
  
*  
  
Hermione Granger watched Felicity from afar as she fixed her hair in the girls' bathroom. Glaring at her, she clenched her fists. She would get them, if it was the last thing she did. She would kill Felicity and get Draco no matter what- she would succeed. Nothing was going to stand in her way this time- nothing. One day, she would get her way. And that someday was sooner then they would ever expect. Hermione's hand gripped the knife that was in her pocker as she stepped up closer to Felicity. A sick smile came across her face when Felicity noticed her in the mirror.  
  
"Hello, Felicity."  
  
~*~  
  
Now I will tell you what I've done for you.  
  
50 thousand ters I've cried.  
  
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you,  
  
and you still won't hear me....  
  
*  
  
Don't want your hand this time  
  
I'll save myself.  
  
Maybe I'll wake up for once.  
  
Not tormented,  
  
daily defeated by you-  
  
just when I thought I'd reached the bottom...  
  
I'm dying again  
  
*  
  
I'm going under....  
  
drowning in you....  
  
I'm falling forever....  
  
I've got to break through...  
  
*  
  
Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies.  
  
So I don't know what's real and what's not.  
  
Always confusing the thoughts in my head...  
  
So I can't trust myself anymore....  
  
I'm dying again...  
  
*  
  
I'm going under....  
  
drowning in you....  
  
I'm falling forever....  
  
I've got to break through...  
  
*  
  
So go on and scream,   
  
scream at me  
  
I'm so far away....  
  
I won't be broken again...  
  
I've got to breathe...  
  
I can't keep going under....  
  
~*~  
  
And.....  
  
Cut.  
  
Yes, it is the end! And I mean it this time! I'm not playing with you this time- this is it.  
  
*close curtains*  
  
Sequel? or cliff hanger?  
  
muhahahaha....  
  
much love- reviews!!  
  
sara  
  
**bows** 


End file.
